Bible commentators, Mr. Fao Chi and Dr. Dunnel Jate Ump, have discovered the original Greek manuscript for 1 Samuel 17 has been mistranslated to read the following:
“38 Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. 39 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them.
‘I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off. 40 Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine...”
When studied further, these brilliant men found what it really should have said:
“38 Then Saul dressed David in his own mask. He put the face gaiter on him and a face shield on his head. 39 David sprayed on the Clorox over himself and tried breathing, because he wasn’t used to the smell.
‘I cannot go in this,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I can hardly breathe’ So he took them off. 40 Then he took his staff in his hand* (“to keep 6 feet from the Giant and his disgusting germs” speculated Dr. Ump), chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine...”
“The original Greek shows that the armor was a metaphor... and the face mask was the... true meaning...” Explained Mr. Chi.
Dr. Dunnel J. Ump went on to say that Goliath was not a literal giant but a “unseen enemy” like the COVID-19.
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