Festive ColonelTony Ancoument

oh where to start-

when I was 4 I thought I was Perry The Platypus for some reason and theres probably a whole archive of the stupid shit that I did but most of it is too cursed to mention or I just forgot.

also one time I went to Odyssey 1 which is kind of like chucky cheese but no shit on the floor and I went there and I called someone's dad a bitch because I didn't know it was a bad word

Sh*t my pants

Probably eat the entire giant rice krispy treat (1 foot by 1 foot) in one day, when it was supposed to be one of my brother's Christmas presents.

Also when my little sister was seven she tried to push me into a 375-degree oven.

Well these aren't really the most embarrassing it's just annoying kid stuff.

That's adorable.

do you really think I would tell you?

I fell off a planter when I was 4 and broke my arm

blame my mom for burning my hand