It began in Chicago. I was born in a hospital in the city. We lived no where near there, but that was where i was born. when i was a few months old, i caught a lethal sickness. i was again, rushed to the hospital. i remember a little of that. im not sure why.

all i remember is crawling into their room. the white light of the lamps was soothing. it was snowing outside. i remember looking down at the balcony and seeing it covered in snow and ice. my parents picked me up and put me on the bed. they stuck a thermometer in my armpit. it felt cool against my skin.

i had a burning fever. my parents had also noticed that i was crying a lot. they saw the warning signs and rushed me to the hospital. there the doctors worked for four days. i wonder if they know how grateful i am? it makes me happy to know that someone cares. when i recovered, my parents needed a day care. they made the choice to put me in the daycare of a woman called Gabby. i remember her very well. She was very nice. Her daughter, Ella, and I were very good friends. When i was two, my mom became pregnant with my little brother. because we lived in a small condo, we had to move. we decided to move to michigan. when we moved, i was, to say it bluntly, scared. we saw a somewhat large house in the suburb/rural area of detroit. my mom had my little brother when i was 3, in 2012. i had my birthday in our new house. i remember opening the door to a stream of people. we needed a new daycare. my parents thought to put me in milford country day. i learned absolutely nothing. we needed a new school. mom saw Milford Montessori. this was one of the best schools i went to. there i learned how to read and write when i was four. i finished the entire series of Harry Potter before kindergarten. in math, they had me adding and subracting in the thousands! i learned to love knowledge. my grandfather is the smartest person i know. he taught me how to think. when i went into kindergarten, things were very easy for me. i could already read, write, add, and subtract. i didnt make very many friends that year. the next year, that all changed. i made many friends, including some enemies who turned out to be my best friends. Peta and Noble were some of those. there were also some friends who turned out to be enemies/ i was in a love/hate relationship with them. Jace. i loved him so much. i still do, but now i feel guilt with that love. up until this year, he knew all of my darkest secrets. in second grade, i told him that i had been having suicidal thoughts, which i had been. he didn't believe me, i dont think. i tried to tell him what was happening. it felt good, to have someone to confide in, someone who would listen. my depression grew stronger. i needed to have him. if i couldnt have someone who would listen to me, i knew i would collapse under the pressure. meanwhile, classes were going good. i had always been the smart one. it was ok, i guess. my best friend, Brielle, was up there with me. my friendship with peta and noble was growing.

meanwhile, their friend ship with Lundyn, one of my other friends, was going strong. we became something known as The Group, and became very popular. that year, in second grade, i went to Malta. i am maltese, my mother's side is. my grandmother was born in Malta, and lived there for 25 yrs. when i went back to school, things were about the same as when i left. i was in the same class as my group, jace was now viewed as a traitor, though our friendship was still strong, and brielle and i were happy as ever. i still was thinking about killing myself, and i still have those thoughts today. i don't want my parents finding out, because ive kept it a secret for so long. 3 grade came and went. when 4 grade came, i realized in a dream that i would have to choose jace or my group. i chose my group. jace is very forgiving. my group is not. we had fun, although i do admit i miss jace a lot. when the pandemic hit, i wasnt prepared. i knew it was coming, but the the next day, when i was going to tell my group, they decided to quarintine us. i communicated to lundyn through email, but she was the only person who ever responded. ''Stella,'' she used to say,''iiiiiiimmmmm booooooooooooooooooooooorrrreeeeed!'' i tried to email jace, but he never responded. when i went to the suicide chat, the guy said he was going to call the police because i wasnt safe.

meanwhile, now that i had my tablet, a whole new world of possibilities opened up for me. i discovered youtube, and created my own channel and subbed to a lot of people, and i discovered imgflip. this changed my life, really. here, i could release all my troubles. i also took to writing short stories. (i'll put one in the comments.) my parents were very strict about this online thing so i would have to delete browsing history every day. there were times when it looked like i hadnt done anything at all that day, when in reality i was on for hours and hours. this continued, just me, my tablet, my depression, and i, for who knows how long. i got a girlfriend. she deleted. i got another girlfriend. we were going to get married, then she deleted. i met t27. we got married, and are happy. i am still depressed. and this is my life. yey

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Damnnn

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