WoO

YOU ALREADY GOT MY VOTE
also here are the weapons

GOOD

you're not gonna ask where i got them?

Let me guess, the Chinese?

*wheeze* black market deals, baby
*laughs in nuclear destruction*

O_o

>:D

Yes, I've made a post lad-

(ok where)

m y l a t e s t p o s t

(lol im dumb)

(shall we drop them on the union now)

nono, we await for more comrades-

(so what do we do now?)

WE AWAIT FOR MORE RECRUITS-

IM FRICKIN BORED-

Welp-

*chugs beer *

*chugs vodka* (wait...)
(WHO SNUCK IN THE FRICKIN VODKA)
(fires holy blaster because im drunk)
(in the drunkness i realize i might have set the holy blaster setting wrong)
(oh no what have i done)
*chugs more beer because i dont wanna know

Heheh-

* looks at your lips *

Now your just another simp for me added to my list-

are you sure?
*holds up holy grenade*
won't hesitate to use this~
but you're the only one simping for anyone 'round here~

*grabs your shirt and holds you to me*

Well, what comrade-

*pulls you closer*
heh, you know exactly what, lassie.

O_O

* drinks whiskey *

* drinks moonshine *

I only feel buzzed lad-
Are gonna pick me up or what-

*picks you up*
well, you asked for it~

*bites lip*

Do I lad-

(drinks more carbonated wine)
Oh, I know you do, don't lie to me

Ah yes, moonshine-

*drinks jack daniels*

XD

(what kind of army is this)
(there are no ranks)

Yes, i will set that up-

(oh ok)
(*hic* we're drunk)
(what dumb hic things we do now hic)

*is a little surprised*

I didn't actually think you were gonna, but o-okay-

heh... i don't play around with words that much, lass

(i meant it when I said lightweight)

Since you have the upper hand, what are you gonna do comrade?
* grins *

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
hehehehehehe
(drinks more wine)

Use it on me

I dare you lad-

heheheh
nope
that's an emergency measure
but right now?
nah, I think you're doing fine, hm?

Well are you a trooper?

n o p e

*burps*

Hit on men * laughs *

(me who is a boi)
(oh shi-)

*sips beer*

Nah, I won't if you don't want me to-

(but we're both drunk and literally have no idea what we're really doing)
*laugh*
*nonyesn't*

Mhm, good to know-

And I'm a pretty physical fit person so I mean-

heh~ understandable.
where is the rest of the army?
cause i wouldn't want them to mess this up, hm?

*puts beer down*
So you want me to eh?

(please wait while brain doesnt comprehend nothing)
*drinks more beer*
So you want me to?
*hic*

Heheh-

*pulls out Mindi from my bra*

Comrades should know not to hit in the female recruits without knowing what's up their sleeve-

*points at your foot*

*whips out grenade*
careful, I'm a suicide bomber

*grins*

I hope you know I've made 5, or 6 guys fail nnn lad-*hic*

*good luck*
hic
(we have a time machine)

*raises eyebrow*

*chugs some more whiskey*

(isn't it time we got some ranks)

* still smirking at you *
(how are you not drunk)
well?

*grins*
Heheh, I am lad-

well?
*smirk*
(the logical side of my brain is gon)

(we do?)
*pulls you to me* Oh lad, I dont need luck-

(the last recruit brought one for emergencies)
luck?
who said anything bout luck?
cuz im the ace of spades.
(two can play this game)

Ah yes, I forgot lad-

*sighs and puts Mindi away*

don't even try to trick me, lassie
*takes out mini berretta M9*
you don't know what's up mine, either~

Sergeant Major of the Army, since I'm leading lad-

wait-
how many ranks below is that?
(i never got the army crap straight)

*hic*

Heheh, ok then- * pulls you to my face * -Comrade-

(hic)
what?
heh heh heh heh
(wait... we're a war what are we doing)
(also i gotta go will reply to this... thing tomorrow)

And that's why lad-

* gives a quick kiss *

You can stay Corporal until I can move you up higher classes

*lenny*
heh, whatever.
(W H E R E A R E T H E O T H E R S)
(the americans need a stream)

Patience, most of everyone is asleep

* evilness * We shall await tomorrow- >:3

* evil smirk *
yes.
*fires tiny firework to celebrate nothing*

And what makes you think that comrade-
* grabs you waist *

and what makes you think you have the upper hand?
*grabs ur arms*
*pulls u closer*

Hehehe

>>:3

heh heh heh...
>:P
* smirks and looks at the button that says "fire tsar bomba or the holy nuke"*

Mess what up sir?
And I will make a post for them all to gather, and I will give ranks then as-well-

heh..
whats mine?

Heh, I always have the upper hand-
*smirks*
But this is a change-

ever tried underhand?
Its time you did~

No, not yet lad-

Patience and time is all we need-

* smirks *

(i bought the holy grenade cause im pretty sure i'll use it on you)

You sir, can be a Lance Corporal-

w h a t s
u r
r a n k

Hehehehe

I might need taht-

(oh no what have i just brought upon myself)

IDK COMRADE

*readies the holy hand grenade*

I have the kidney's of steel lad-
Yes I am setting up ranks-
And well, what?
*smirks*

(thats not how alcohol works)
who said I had no tolerance
*snickers* you're so lightweight
i could easily carry you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(surely you know what the grenade does)
(its called reclaim your innocence)
(need I say more?)
(or do you know why I have this grena- er, smoothie)

*sips smoothie that i got*

I guess so lad-

*smirks*

*smirks* hmm?
*pulls you closer*

thats not a smoothie

(yes its a smoothie) *throws smoothie at you
hehehehe shoot i forgot my anti angry/lewd grenade (oh wait the holy blaster)

*sigh*

Here's the ranks lad-

Private E-2
Private First class
Specialist
Corporal
Sergeant
Staff Sergeant
Sergeant First Class
Master Sergeant
First Sergeant
Command Sergeant Major
Sergeant Major of the Army

oh look im 7 and a half ranks below you, how nice.

LEWD GRENADE?

ANTI LEWD (you have no idea)

o//o

Maybe it is eheh-

* smirk *

Heh, okay, your point is-
*laughs*

you can't go through 20 bottles without getting wasted
(bet)

oh btw war stream lmao
imgflip.com/m/America_vs_russia

hehhehheh...
say, are ya a used machine gun? cuz dang, you're hot...
(hic)
(why are we still drinking we're getting wasted)

o_O

heh heh heh...
thought ya said you were fine with me flirting, comrade.