Heavy: Ya-da-da-da-da-da- It is good day to be not dead!
Engineer: POW! You are dead!
Heavy: I am dead!
Engineer: Chuckling, while spy is doing the conga towards the scene (The Engineer says aw, shucks” as the Spy gets close.)
Spy: Oh! The Heavy is dead!
Heavy: Yes (Sandwich). I am dead!
Spy: Why is the Heavy dead?!
Engineer: I dunno.
Heavy: I think it was-
Engineer & Spy: Shhh, you are dead!
Heavy: Ok.
(Sniper enters scene exiting van)
Sniper: What's up, you wankers?! Who’s up for a- AH! What the- bloody hell just happened?!
Engineer & Spy: The Heavy is dead!
(A, B, C, or D game starts)
Sniper: The Heavy is dead!
Spy: Correct!
(Option C lights up and celebration music starts playing)
Spy: So, did you see the murderer?
Engineer and Sniper: Nah, sorry mate.
Spy: Slams hand on desk I will find him, I will capture him, and no one will ever die again!
(Engineer and Sniper applause)
Sniper: Ah, well that's nice.
Engineer: I am damn proud right now.
(Soldier appears in scene)
Soldier: Atteeeeeeeeention!
(Soldier rushes to dead Heavy)
Soldier: That Heavy is dead!
Spy: We know!
Soldier: Who killed him?!
Spy: We don’t know!
Soldier: I will find clues!
(Soldier searches through pile of stuff while sniffing)
Soldier: What's that? Grabs gun A weapon?! That thing is why the Heavy is dead!
Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: The Heavy is dead?!
Soldier: Slams hands on desk Yes, (Intense background appears) he died!
Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: All shocked
(Intense background stops, showing the Engineer, Sniper, and Spy standing in front of a green screen)
Medic: (From far away) Incoming!
(Ambulance crashes Soldier into a building wall, killing him.)
Medic: Exits out of Ambulance Raus, raus! Pushes Engineer, Sniper, and Spy away from Heavy Move now! Kisses Heavy on head
(Heavenly music sounds while the light focuses on Heavy)
Heavy: (Rising in air) Hohoho, Hea- Explodes Oof.
Medic: In my medical opinion, that Heavy is dead!
(Camera rotates to Sniper)
Sniper: Doc, what happened?
Medic: My professional opinion? Slams hands on desk then turns to the right (Intense background comes in) The Heavy was killed!
(Intense background stops)
Engineer, Sniper, and Spy: Panicking
Medic: I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.
Spy: Well, now what?
(Scout entering while doing the conga in the background)
Scout: Clipidy clop mother****er! Boom!
