We're winning!

Or it's because of coronavirus, but you are still beautiful

lol

. . .
I don't know why, but all this positive stuff sorta makes me feel bad about myself.
Probably because it proves that I'm not a good person.

How?

Because I learned that without even realizing it I do all the stuff the anti-LGBTQ people do, like turn people against each other and stop talking to people once I realize they're gay.
...I'm homophobic even though I don't try or want to be.

Hah so? I still love you and that should make you feel great because I'M AWESOME

...Well, now I know that I'm the reason none of my gay friends talk to me anymore.

Yes, you do and now you can work on it! (=

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have it

Yeah, well since all of them completely refuse to talk to me at all now...
There's not really any way to fix my problem.

Not true... You may have lost them but now you can change for future reference. Friends come and go it's not really that important. My old BFF hates me now because of something I wish I could take back but it's too late. You gotta move forward and be better than you were.

The problem is, every day I see the world and myself as worse and worse and further I fall into the pits of self-hating madness that consume my life.

Then get off your ass and work to fix it! Everybody wants change but nobody wanna change though... You gotta work on it if you wanna complain about it

I can't change who I am.
I tried.
I got worse.
All I can do is lie to everybody to make them think I'm different than what I actually am.

Follow me... We'll talk in a private chat so that we don't pollute the stream with any negative thoughts...

I already AM following you.

Very true