The truth is more stranger than you can possibly imagine

In response to the recent US vice presidential debate, Xi Jinping was quoted earlier today at the politburo by foreign reporters saying "I spy fly with my little eye," smiled, and waved for the guards to escort the press outside the building. Neither Xi nor the CCP have elaborated on this statement.

In other news, the White House staff and Pentagon officials have purchased more than 100000 fly swatters, 3000 bug-zappers, and 350 "office frogs" in a recent invoice from the Department of Defence. This unprecedented move has perplexed top experts and senior military analysts, with the administration so far only alluding to concerns over national security.