JOE BIDEN ANNOUNCES THAT A LEFT-WING GANG OF ARSONISTS HAS FORMED TO CAUSE FURTHER DESTRUCTION IN AMERICA. MEMBERS OF THE GANG CURRENTLY KNOWN AS ‘GLOBAL WARMING’ HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DELIBERATELY SETTING FIRES IN WASHINGTON, OREGON AND CALIFORNIA; MICHAEL JARROD BAKKELA, JACOB ALTONA, JEFFREY ALAN ACORD AND ANITA ESQUIVEL HAVE DECLINED TO COMMENT
