Life sucks right now,and it has for a while. My mom keeps yelling at me,using the wrong pronouns and name for me, the only things that are keeping me from ending it all right now are drawing,the owl hose and some people on here that I talk to. Not even serious talks either,just stupid stuff,I'm about to just die or run away right now...I just want to get away from it all,just go to another dimension where I can be whoever I want to be without people holding me back,where no one can die,where I can love whoever. That's all I want WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A STUPID HUMAN??? Why can't I be a elf or a fairy or a witch or just a different person??? If reincarnation is real,i would just die to get at least a chance at a better life. Hell I can't even talk to my friends because of quarantine, 4 maybe now 5 of my friends are dead,Im about to just cry for an hour,not talk to anyone,just starve in my room,go insane and die...this is so stupid,me wanting to be in a fairytale world,like a little kid...I'm just a crybaby... Braking down at any minor inconvenience in life,bullies are right I'm useless.....I shouldn't be venting to the Internet where people don't even know me,but my mom won't pay to put me through therapy,and the last time I went to a therapist I hated it,I hated her,I hated the therapy building,that brown and tan waiting room,the grey halls,the white chairs and shelves,they treated me like a test subject,never letting me leave until I talked about whatever was bothering me,my mom always watching me so I could never just vent about 100% of what's on my mind