Just need to vent about life

first of all..what does vent mean?

it means wanting to talk about ur problems in life
and wanting to talk to people about it
theres nothing wrong with it
at least
this is my definition

ohh ok..thanks

yw

i read your comments..the long one..i hope your gonna be okay

The school social worker was awesome,she actually let me vent,and I trusted her,the counselor sucked,the new one,the older ones where great, also the social worker supported LGBTQ+ rights,I wish I came out to her first.... That's the only reason besides seeing my small amount of non homophobic friends I wanted to go to school. There would be days before covid,I would wake up crying not wanting to see or even be around people at my school, and my mom would say "that's fine you can stay home" but along with my whole family she wouldn't let me move schools or fight back with the f**king bullies,I would always get in trouble for fighting back,physically or verbally. Once a kid tried to kill 2 other kids and no one listened to us..the students 5th grade teachers allways thought that they didn't need to listen to problems from stupid kids,same with my kindergarten,and 2nd grade teachers...this is so stupid,I'm just a peice of shit kid who can't stand up to people in real life of from behind a stupid screen. My posts aren't getting shown so I'm just useless,no one wants to see something that I made, cause like me it's shit,I don't usually swear but I am shit,everything I make is shit my life is shit,if I died everyone who knew me would just pretend to care,they would be happy that a peice of f**king shit trash human was out of their life probrably rotting in hell cause God apparently hates gays even though Jesus helped a gay couple

Or some shit......again I know this is stupid,and if you read all this I'm sorry for wasting your time,I just neede to get this out of my head.. I'll add to this later if I need to vent more in the future

Its not stupid to vent
U didn't waste anyone's time by doing so
Its perfectly normal to
And remember
No one is useless
This is a quote from one of my best friends
Ur not weak
U are strong
U just haven't found where it lies yet
If u die
It will affect a lot of people
I will be sad if u die tbh

Thanks....I just sometimes think that I'm stupid

Yw
Just know
Nobody is stupid
We are all smart in our own way

Thanks again

Yw

That's terrible...

Yep,terrible life for a terrible person

You arent a terrible person don't say that about yourself.

You are a great friend

Thanks,but I am a terrible person.. I'm so terrible I can't even keep pets alive,my hamster,Guinea pig,and one of my dogs died, everyone says from age but I feel like I killed them

I almost PURPOSEFULLY killed my dog

Me too,multiple times...not with a knife,but she bit me once so stupid revenge

I've just almost choked a sweet, innocent dog

Ok,that is bad,but at least the dog wouldn't suffer from starving to death

It would suffer

Not as much

*angry crab noises*

Hey I choke dogs

well, THAT'S disturbing...

I'm just gonna go....

Okie.

:( i would care if u died

I do!

Adding to the mess that is this post, I again like everything now don't know why but I feel alone....I'm always alone almost every day because my mom gose to work and hangs out with her AWESOME boyfriend......I'm not saying he sucks but he is spending more time with my mom and I feel like she is forgetting I exist,example: she will go run errands or play tennis with him,and sound really happy..but when I want to do something with her she dosnt want to do it,and even if I go with her when her and bob (her boyfriend) she will ignore me a lot. Im probably just jealous and missing my friends

Update on life for anyone who cares: talking to someone about their original character rn,and we are talking about how they are a baby and calling them smol,this is somehow making me happy. Wich is good. Also I am making a mushroom village in Minecraft that is making my inner need to decorate my whole room with mushroom pattered crap satisfied

Adding to this again, my thoughts are messed up right now. My mom left to calm down somewhere after a fight with her boyfriend, and my brain is saying she has or will kill him but I don't know why maybe because she (when mad) gives off the vibe of "I will cut your head off if you f*ck with me" and for a while now she has seemed like a criminal. Examples: she will not let me post photos,videos, or anything with her voice anywhere,and if I do she would scream at me to delete them, once she lost some money somewhere in my house and me and my brother said she was insane,wich to that she responded with screaming in a insane way is the only way I can describe it and saying over and over she was not insane while acting insane,she later found the money so she was not insane,there are a lot more examples but I don't want to talk about them

I'm probrably just paranoid though

Like allways

Life sucks right now,and it has for a while. My mom keeps yelling at me,using the wrong pronouns and name for me, the only things that are keeping me from ending it all right now are drawing,the owl hose and some people on here that I talk to. Not even serious talks either,just stupid stuff,I'm about to just die or run away right now...I just want to get away from it all,just go to another dimension where I can be whoever I want to be without people holding me back,where no one can die,where I can love whoever. That's all I want WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A STUPID HUMAN??? Why can't I be a elf or a fairy or a witch or just a different person??? If reincarnation is real,i would just die to get at least a chance at a better life. Hell I can't even talk to my friends because of quarantine, 4 maybe now 5 of my friends are dead,Im about to just cry for an hour,not talk to anyone,just starve in my room,go insane and die...this is so stupid,me wanting to be in a fairytale world,like a little kid...I'm just a crybaby... Braking down at any minor inconvenience in life,bullies are right I'm useless.....I shouldn't be venting to the Internet where people don't even know me,but my mom won't pay to put me through therapy,and the last time I went to a therapist I hated it,I hated her,I hated the therapy building,that brown and tan waiting room,the grey halls,the white chairs and shelves,they treated me like a test subject,never letting me leave until I talked about whatever was bothering me,my mom always watching me so I could never just vent about 100% of what's on my mind

I see
I'm sorry
*hugs U*
Sometimes life is painful
However we must live
Why so
Bcz there are people out there who care
Its ok if u want to vent
We just have to live through the pain somehow and hope and believe

:( it's ok. We believe in you, and you are gonna be ok, do you have any family or friends that are really nice you could move in with?

Not really,and my mom wouldn't let me anyways

:(

Yea :( at least I could just....no I was gonna say just die,but I guess that option is a big no

You are not gonna die, u won't let you. You're to amazing, and your mom should see that.

I*

People say that a lot, that my mom should see that I'm amazing and shit

Because you are!

I don't see how,but thanks

:) no problem. I believe in you.

Do you not see your art?!? You can draw digital a lot better than me! Especially with them being sorta human!

I know "my art is good" but everyone I know says that,so my brain just thinks "meh,their art is fine" also I can see flaws in my art more so yea

Rei, I'm not lying about your art. It's great. You know Sunny? She does too. We care, and we know your art is amazing.

Thanks....

*hugg* is there anything i can do to help?

Not really,but people caring sorta helps

well, i care :)

Thanks :)

I care! :)

:)

:)