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It began in Chicago. I was born in a hospital in the city. We lived no where near there, but that was where i was born. when i was a few months old, i caught a lethal sickness. i was again, rushed to the hospital. i remember a little of that. im not sure why.

all i remember is crawling into their room. the white light of the lamps was soothing. it was snowing outside. i remember looking down at the balcony and seeing it covered in snow and ice. my parents picked me up and put me on the bed. they stuck a thermometer in my armpit. it felt cool against my skin.

i had a burning fever. my parents had also noticed that i was crying a lot. they saw the warning signs and rushed me to the hospital. there the doctors worked for four days. i wonder if they know how grateful i am? it makes me happy to know that someone cares. when i recovered, my parents needed a day care. they made the choice to put me in the daycare of a woman called Gabby. i remember her very well. She was very nice. Her daughter, Ella, and I were very good friends. When i was two, my mom became pregnant with my little brother. because we lived in a small condo, we had to move. we decided to move to michigan. when we moved, i was, to say it bluntly, scared. we saw a somewhat large house in the suburb/rural area of detroit. my mom had my little brother when i was 3, in 2012. i had my birthday in our new house. i remember opening the door to a stream of people. we needed a new daycare. my parents thought to put me in milford country day. i learned absolutely nothing. we needed a new school. mom saw Milford Montessori. this was one of the best schools i went to. there i learned how to read and write when i was four. i finished the entire series of Harry Potter before kindergarten. in math, they had me adding and subracting in the thousands! i learned to love knowledge. my grandfather is the smartest person i know. he taught me how to think. when i went into kindergarten, things were very easy for me. i could already read, write, add, and subtract. i didnt make very many friends that year. the next year, that all changed. i made many friends, including some enemies who turned out to be my best friends. Peta and Noble were some of those. there were also some friends who turned out to be enemies/ i was in a love/hate relationship with them. Jace. i loved him so much. i still do, but now i feel guilt with that love. up until this year, he knew all of my darkest secrets. in second grade, i told him that i had been having suicidal thoughts, which i had been. he didn't believe me, i dont think. i tried to tell him what was happening. it felt good, to have someone to confide in, someone who would listen. my depression grew stronger. i needed to have him. if i couldnt have someone who would listen to me, i knew i would collapse under the pressure. meanwhile, classes were going good. i had always been the smart one. it was ok, i guess. my best friend, Brielle, was up there with me. my friendship with peta and noble was growing.

meanwhile, their friend ship with Lundyn, one of my other friends, was going strong. we became something known as The Group, and became very popular. that year, in second grade, i went to Malta. i am maltese, my mother's side is. my grandmother was born in Malta, and lived there for 25 yrs. when i went back to school, things were about the same as when i left. i was in the same class as my group, jace was now viewed as a traitor, though our friendship was still strong, and brielle and i were happy as ever. i still was thinking about killing myself, and i still have those thoughts today. i don't want my parents finding out, because ive kept it a secret for so long. 3 grade came and went. when 4 grade came, i realized in a dream that i would have to choose jace or my group. i chose my group. jace is very forgiving. my group is not. we had fun, although i do admit i miss jace a lot. when the pandemic hit, i wasnt prepared. i knew it was coming, but the the next day, when i was going to tell my group, they decided to quarintine us. i communicated to lundyn through email, but she was the only person who ever responded. ''Stella,'' she used to say,''iiiiiiimmmmm booooooooooooooooooooooorrrreeeeed!'' i tried to email jace, but he never responded. when i went to the suicide chat, the guy said he was going to call the police because i wasnt safe.

meanwhile, now that i had my tablet, a whole new world of possibilities opened up for me. i discovered youtube, and created my own channel and subbed to a lot of people, and i discovered imgflip. this changed my life, really. here, i could release all my troubles. i also took to writing short stories. (i'll put one in the comments.) my parents were very strict about this online thing so i would have to delete browsing history every day. there were times when it looked like i hadnt done anything at all that day, when in reality i was on for hours and hours. this continued, just me, my tablet, my depression, and i, for who knows how long. it is pure bliss, just sitting there, with infinite knowledge at your disposal. this is my life now.

Victim No. 332 Nevæh Mora: You are in a store. There are not a lot of people there. Those who dare venture outside the safety of their homes wear masks. You follow their example and wear one too. The handful of shoppers who are there stay six feet apart from you and everyone else. As soon as you collect your groceries, you make a beeline for the checkout. All the cashiers wear a mask and gloves. In line, the person ahead of you starts to cough. This is not the small, clear-your-throat cough, this is a terrible, hacking cough. They drop to their knees, as if there was something that was stuck in there, eating away at their life and they were trying desperately to get it out. You, the people ahead and behind you, and the cashiers back away cautiously. You learn later that day that they had the infamous coronavirus. What you don’t know is that there is a small hole in the mask that they wore. A small pinprick of virus-infected saliva is spattered onto your hand. Some more splatter onto the floor. You have no idea of any of this. When it is your turn, you step into their place. You pay, and leave. On the way home, you think about that person with the terrible cough. You say a quick prayer in hope that they’ll be alright.When you get home, you take off your shoes. A few particles drift up and settle on your hands, and as you’re going to the bathroom to wash them, you absentmindedly brush away a hair near your mouth. 5,000 particles have just been transferred into your mouth. You feel nothing of this. When you go to turn on the water, you leave 10,000 particles on the handle. The virus creeps into your lungs. A few days later, after you have obsessively watched all the seasons of The Grand Tour, you decide it’s time for lunch. You start to go into the kitchen, but stop when you realize that even the thought of eating makes you nauseated. You have not felt that great today. Last night you woke up freezing. You then put on a robe and went back to bed. A few hours later, you woke up sweating from the heat. You still got a good eight hours of sleep, but you feel as if you were pulling an all-nighter with a friend and that one last drink put you over the edge. You take your temperature, 103. Crap, you think. You swallow a vitamin C and an antibiotic and try to take a nap. You wake up hours later unable to breathe. You stumble around until you find your phone and an old inhaler that you used to use for your asthma. You take a puff. Inhale, exhale. squirt. You dial

911. 911, what's your emergency? You try to tell them your name, your address, but coughing spasms rack your body. Someone is on the way. the operator tells you. When the ambulance arrives five minutes later, it’s all you can do to stumble to the ambulance and collapse on a gurney. You remain concious all the way there.
When you arrive at the hospital, doctors wearing masks rush you to an isolation ward. A few hours later, the man next to you dies. They put you in his ventilator, but with every day that passes, you fade away. Your thoughts are that this will blow over, and you will get married. Your two children will visit you in your nursing home in Miami. You begin to die. A pleasant feeling overcomes your body. It feels as if you are floating. The monitor that the doctors hooked you up to starts beeping rapidly. You have flatlined. In the official COVID-19 files, you will be marked as victim no. 332. Family and friends will mourn of course, but they will do so two at a time and six feet apart. Your family chooses to cremate you. Maybe a small poration of your ashes will be made into an artificial diamond, which will eventually become your niece’s wedding ring. Maybe your ashes will be placed in a mahogany box, along with some prized possesions. A sports medal from high school, perhaps, or maybe a favorite picture. Either way, your family will see this as either a symbol of rememberence, or a symbol of pain. You will be remembered as both an amazing child, and victim no. 332.

ME*wating for the rest of itXD*

XD i'll explain later.

Plot twist: she went to the hospital and just had a vitamin c overdose XD

um...

WOW now that's well interesting... I still don't see how u can think u have nothing to live for tho

my mind is more advanced than my body, and people don't see that my thoughts arent what they should be.

I'm going to offer some advice, and you can choose rather or not to take it. If your "best friends" abandon you for being friends with someone else, they aren't your real friends. You're trapped there, which is probably the main cause of your depression. If they really care, they'll let you be friends with Jace. That's my advice.

no, jace, jace hasnt been the best to them. thank you tho.

so? what you do isn't about them, it's about you

thank you. they dont like jace for a reason, that reason is that jace isnt good to me. he bypasses me, and i know that he thinks of me as weak, and foolish. the only problem is that i got him through the first half of second grade, but i cant let him go.

well in that case forget everything i just said, you dont need someone that uses you

ye.

me and my bff, we both fell for him. she regrets it now. he told her not to be friends with me. most people who have been even remotely close to him regret it.

sounds like a total jerk :/

ye. he was super hot, tho.

yEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

yeh. my other bff. (she's on here as SophieIsMyName) told us she didn't know what we saw in him. she was right.

lol i gtg peace!

k. byeeeee

and they dont abandon me.

says the 5'4" 10yo! Look you are a beautiful young lady and you deserve to be happy

thx. ._.
' '

turned out wrong.🙄

wym "turned out wrong"

the above comment.

how are you rn?

honestly, pretty crappy.

wanna vent?

ye.

hang on.

so i dont know why im feeling this but i am and my parents are great but i still dont know which makes me even more depressed cuz im felling like this for no reason and this has been going on for years but the only one ive ever told irl is jace but he doesnt believe me and i miss him so much but i cant go back to him cuz my group would banish me and if they do that i basically have no friends other than my two other ones, one who i was the first to tell irl that im bi, they are really fun but my group and i have like a idiot friend relationship, but its a extreme so ifi leave it would be like leaving my best friends and i cant do that so all i have of him left now is just faint memories and my imagination and i can barely remember his voice and i dont think ive used a period yet, but i know that my will to live is going and ive already made a note to them and everyone on here too but i cant do this much longer.

Omg!!!

thx!

You're welcome! :)