:( I understand this, I just hafta say don't stake everything on her, or any one person, because then your heart with be shattered. You need to protect it by giving your love to something or someone who won't ever disappoint you, then your love for her, if it's true, will be strengthened and reinforced so it doesn't hurt if things don't pan out.
Just my two cents, if it's not your jam don't spread it