I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherf**ker. He pissed on my f**king wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog f**kin' quilly dick out -and he pissed on my f**king wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said "That's disgusting!" So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller! And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like!
[Eggman makes explosion noises as the Eclipse Cannon is revealed] That's right, baby! All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He f**ked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna f**k the Earth!
[the Eclipse Cannon fires] That's right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOON!
[the laser hits the moon] HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!
You have 23 hours before the piss DRRRROPLLLETS hit the f**king Earth! Now get out of my f**king sight, before I piss on you too!
