BREAKING NEWS: FEEBLE TRUMP SLIPS AND STUMBLES DURING LONG WALK AT WEST POINT, REQUIRING HELP TO GET DOWN THE STAIRS; HE SAYS HE WAS JUST TAKING HIS TIME "TO INSPECT THE RAMP" AND REASSURED US THAT HIS "SECRET DIAGNOSIS" OF "ALZHEIMER'S AND PARKINSON'S", THAT THE GOVERNMENT AND HIS DOCTOR "IS HIDING FROM THE PUBLIC", HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
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