Yargh, I'm trash...

We all make forays into dark or "black" humor, but dozens of them like this gets my attention.

Yaar...

Yargh.

Welp....

Hey Vik, long time no see. Did you think I committed suicide?

Ach no.

Hm... thought I would at least get one person to think that...

Ahah....Well that stuff doesn't work on me.

Hm.
I wonder if anyone was actually worried.

Who knows

I was, lad.
I was actually plannin' on comittin' self deletus if I figured out ye yerself did.

*shrugs*
Google Chrome after being summoned:

A question?

Yes, lad.

Thank you...
But please, I'm still serious about this. I can't help you if you won't help yourself.
We all care about you and we love you... we don't want to see you suffer like this...
I love you, like your parents do, okay?

I know... Thanks, mate.
And if ye wanna run in ther' elections, here:
https://imgflip.com/i/3tqiwb
Jus' reply to the one comment with yer' username.

Tell them, okay?
Alright, thanks!

Yep, lad.

There's actualy a webcomic about this!

Please, you can't do this by yourself
I know what you feel. I know that you think that you can handle it all on your own.
But we both know that even the best people need help.
Please, you need to tell them.
When the time comes, what happens if you can't do it?
You need their help and support, Layla.

Ba dum dum dum doodly da bum dum.

Please, this is not a joke.
I don't want you to get hurt again.
Please...

Eh, I gave up cutting.
Ba dum dum.

Yeah!

EEEEEEE
EEEEEEE
EEE
EEE
EEE
EEEEEEE
EEEEEEE
EEE
EEE
EEE
EEEEEEE
EEEEEEE

It's not that easy.
Before you know it, you'll feel horrible again, they'll make you feel horrible again... and then...
...
Please.

*shrugs and sips tea*
Eh, Taboo and Sicarius are fine. It'd be... seven against one. Whiplash is f**ked if he tries to pull any shit.
Ba dum dum doodly dum dum bum.

Teehee!
Y-you're bored of this, aren't you...?
W-we can change the topic if you want...!

But still....
I've seen one personality kill every other personality in that body...
And what if the other ones freak out too?
...
I'm just worried for you. What you're doing right now, it won't work out... You need to tell them.

No, I don't think I will.
Ba dum dum doodly dum.

...
I'm... sorry...

Bout' what, matey?

Huh?

Yes, you will.
You will tell them.
Why? Because they listened that time.
Look, it worked out the last time, and it will work out now. They're your family and they love you. They want to help you as much as I do.
Please, we love you and we don't want to see you get hurt...

Boi, I hurt meself, I think thar' is enough. And if he does kill me, ah well. I can't help it.
Ba dum dum bum doodly dum.

Oh... I'm sorry...
You shouldn't depend your life on someone like me... especially since you only know me online...

And fer' yer answer to yer question:
Yes, I already tried to stab meself in the throat, and-

Yarr, and I also have a question for ye too, lad.

I dunno... I just feel like I'm doing something wrong...

Nononono, lad, yer' did nuthin' wrong!
If anyone did anythin' wrong, its probably me...
But, ah well.

Yes, you can.
Yes, you can help it.
It's like the coronavirus, are you just going to let yourself be infected by it, even though you can prevent it?!
Please, just do it... it'll help so much...
You have so much to live for, and pain is not one of them...
Please...
Please...
I can't take it anymore!

Yes, I am actually gonna let meself get infected. And don't worry bout' me. I don't see why anyone would. I kind of gave up on fixin' others cus' I gave up on fixin' meself.
Ba dum dum.
*shrugs*

You did nothing wrong, trust me.
Hm... it might just be my feeling then.
Welp, dunno if I can do anything bout that! So um, whaddya wanna do?

No, yes I did, probably Whiplash actually... but he did finally calm down. He hasn't tried to kill me in a while, but that's jus' because he got what he wanted. But if sumthin' goes wrong, he's comin' back and I know it.
And I'm fine with doin' anythin', matey. And I am sure its is jus' a feeling, I get like thar' too, we all do.

Please... don't ever do things like that, please?

...
...
...
CAN YOU STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT?!
YOU KEEP TALKING CRAP LIKE THAT!
You keep talking like that...
Everyone keeps talking like that...
And everyone dies...
I don't want you to die before your time. Everyone has their time. And yours won't come that early.
Every life is wonderful and is worth living. That's why we help people.
Seeing people happy, people BEING happy. That's why we help people.
Knowing that a person has been saved. That's why we help people.
I worry about you because I love you... and so do your parents...
That's why we want to help you.
That's why we want the best for you.
Because we want to see you happy.

...

OKAY OKAY OKAY
It's a meme about opening lids, so like you know those plastic lids like the ones on cupped noodles?
So sometimes they get slippery and the amount of force you put into opening the lid backfires when your hand slips through and punches yourself.
On the second comic Bonny tells Foxy to open it pointing the other way, as to not hit him, but it ends up hitting him anyway.
On the third: PTSD VIETNAM WAR FLASHBACKS

I hate it...
I hare that you're not taking this seriously...
I hate that you're treating yourself and your life like SHIT!
But I still love YOU.
And that's why I just want the best for you...

Well, sometimes ye jus' gotta laugh at thar' bad times or they never become better. Ye can't keep lookin' on with only dread and hate and all, ye at least gotta cherish the times ye have while ye have em'. I like to have good times while ever'yone's still here, not yelling at each other and complainin', but ye know, life has a way of laying out yer fate with different paths with different outcomes... the paths that are travelled are jus' chosen by thar' traveller.

Hm... have you tried talking to your parents about it?
Um... *shrugs*

Eh.

What's the question?

What the Hell picture I found on the internet about what I think is yogurt.

Haha!
Is it yoghurt tho-

Yog-HURT.
I see what ye did thar'-

Well what I'm doing is just trying to lead you to the right path... the one that won't doom the traveler. One that isn't filled with gloomy darkness and thorny bushes. I'm trying to lead you to the right path, where you can finally be happy and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
I know it's your choice as to which path you would take, but I'm just trying to show you the right way.

I know... thanks, lad.
Yer' a good matey.
*tips Pirate hat in salute*
Ye should run fer' the Quartermaster election, I think ye would make a good Quartermaster.

Wait what-
Is that not how you spell that-

I think its 'Yogurt'.

Have you talked to your parents about it?

Bout' what?

Time to consult Google-sensei!

"Yoghurt is a variant spelling of yogurt that is common in British English. It can be used in all the same contexts as its American counterpart yogurt. While yoghurt is much more common in British English than in American English, it still isn't the dominant spelling."

You've already talked to them about the self-harm, so you need to tell them about your side personalities and how you need a therapist (or idk whoever deals with mental stuff)

Eh...
I can handle them myself I think anymore.
Ba dum dum dum doodly doo dum dum bum

you got it wrong there buddy