WHEN YOU READ ABOUT THE BLACK PLAGUE IN SCHOOL AND THOUGHT "I WOULD NEVER BEHAVE IN SUCH A SILLY, HYSTERICAL, AND THOROUGHLY UNSCIENTIFIC FASHION"? AND HERE YOU ARE, HUDDLED IN YER HOUSE, PEAKING THROUGH THE CURTAINS, NOT A CORPSE IN SIGHT, WISHING YOU HAD A BIBLE TO CLUTCH AND AT LEAST 400,000 MORE BULLETS