yes, your suggestion that only black people use those terms sounds racist, i agree, but i think we should see that as simply a weakness in your upbringing and maybe your daily culture. your use of the blackface template is probly not an expression of your need to put down black people. maybe you've grown up in a predominantly white environment and you just don't know what you think about blacks? it'd be worth your time to reflect on these things some more. can you come up with activities that would help you explore your racial sensitivity? i'll check back later to see how you're doing.