As I sit on the same tree stump I always do, smoking the same tobacco I always do, drinking the same flavour of Monster I always do, I have a god given period of time for true and focused thoughts. One cannot expect to find such time in a chaotic environment, such as a loud household, cluttered quarters or the company of even their closest friends. No, the best place is in their mind, physically and mentally isolated from the world. Ambience isn't always an issue. I can easily find solace in the most cluttered of public areas. I rarely care for such small inconveniences. It's just easier to block out the world when everyone around you is an unknown.
My mind is not sunshine and rainbows. It is a dark, depressing place, filled with unspeakable atrocities and horrors that would drive anyone else to insanity. I've learned to accept and live with this. I've seen enough bad to lock away the worst of it, because half of these thoughts are untrue. The other half will sometimes haunt my dreams. I'm able to keep them there, and only bring them out when I choose. The psychological effects, however, are everlasting. I'll never possess a stable mindset. I'm easily provoked under certain circumstances, which usually lead to an unpleasant retaliation.
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