I'm a pessimist anyway. I have a positive views on things I shouldn't, I judge myself and compare, yet I show compassion to others while making myself the outcast. I end up being a hypocrite most of the time because I can't agree with even myself. I get myself into my own messes and then I regret them and can't do anything about it. Thus, I have many reasons to have the view I have upon myself, which is spiteful and dissapointed, but I don't want to change that, even though I do, all because the task is too difficult. This is exactly what I'm saying! I'm a hypocrite! Even as I'm writing this, I feel fine even though I said I hate myself, I don't even understand myself half the time...