Sad cat

depends on the loli, how long ago it was, and how remorseful you are.

When I was 11 (5 years ago) I saw a lewd Komi-san but I didn't know who she was and it was the first girl I saw lewd and I liked it and thought she was hot but then I felt terrible because I thought liking girls was bad because my dad is homophobic.

Shit

if you didn't know who it was, then you didn't know better. you're one of my mods, there was no need to ask. I trust you enough to not have to worry about that :)

Yeah but after that I secretly looked up lewd lolis and I liked it but then I felt so bad about it and got so scared that dad would beat me I threw up and stoped doing it.

He caught me once and did actually beat me. Not joking.

as I said, don't worry about it! we both have backgrounds inappropriate for our positions. I used to be a high tier degenerate, and now I'm the sheriff of an unofficial lolitary branch! if I can do it, why can't you?

Because I can't let go of things and my family won't accept my sexuality so I hide and it festers inside me causing more self loathing and late at night my brain thinks of every little "bad" thing I have done so I feel more pressure to hide.

damn. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm christian, so, yeah... but I also believe that any parents who's kids come out to them, or parents who find out their kids are homo or something like that, if those parents don't continue loving their kid all the same and try to help them through their struggles, then they're shitty f**king parents and people. the people with the "god hates gays signs" have never read a single bible verse, i guarantee it. the whole point is that no matter what you do, god will still love you. So I can't do much to help you, but I can tell you that your parents don't represent all religious people, just the bad ones. I know probably doesn't help much, but I wanted to tell you that your parents are the the loud minority. if they were real christians, then they'd try to help you no matter what, instead of resenting you. any good person would do that.

Its not because of my religion its just my dad is a homophobic c**t. I swear he f**king hates me anyways

oh. damn, thats just that much worse. not even a religious thing. at this point he's just a f**king c**tass in general.

Its like why do I even try anymore. Both my parents are transphobic and my dad is homophobic. Its not fair. Why can't they just accept and love me so I don't have to hide. I don't even know if I want to be cisgender or not.

I mean, it sucks, but your only real option is to ignore them. I can't really explain it, but as long as you have a place to stay, food to eat, water to drink, you're technically fine. it's not fun, but you're living. just, let them have their beliefs, I guess. try not to bring it up. I know, it doesn't help at all, I don't even know if that would make it worse, but it's all I can think of. I feel like someone in a similar situation would be better help than me

I never talk about it. They have no idea I'm not "normal" other then they caught me looking at girls.