EAT PANT; EAT HALF OF A PAIR OF JEANS; DEVOUR HALF OF A PAIR OF LEG CLOTHING. CONSUME, AND MECHANICALLY DIGEST, THEREUPON PURSUING CHEMICAL DIGESTION, EITHER ONE OR ANOTHER BISECTED PARCEL OF CRURAL ATTIRE SYNTHESIZED FROM ONE MILLION PARTS PER MILLION GOSSYPIUM TINGED WITH INDIGOFERA TINCTORIA.