Swedish Chef

HOW TO MAKE A BODY BAG LIST TO SMEAR A PRESIDENT; 1. MAKE THE LIST AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. LIST EVERY DEAD PERSON WITH EVEN THE MOST TENUOUS OF CONNECTIONS TO YOUR SUBJECT. 2. PLAY WORD GAMES. MAKE SURE EVERY DEATH IS PRESENTED AS “MYSTERIOUS.” EVERY SELF-INFLICTED DEATH MUST INCLUDE THE PHRASE “RULED A SUICIDE”. 3. MAKE SURE EVERY INCONSISTENCY OR UNEXPLAINED DETAIL YOU CAN DREDGE UP IS OFFERED AS EVIDENCE OF A CONSPIRACY, NO MATTER HOW INSIGNIFICANT OR POINTLESS IT MAY BE. 4. IF THE DATA DOESN’T FIT YOUR CONCLUSION, IGNORE IT. 5. MOST IMPORTANT, DON’T LET FACTS AND DETAILS STAND IN YOUR WAY! REMEMBER, NOBODY CHECKS WHAT YOU WRITE.