BREAKING NEWS:
A NEW STUDY REVEALS THAT THE KIND OF FACE A WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO ON A MAN DEPENDS ON WHERE SHE IS IN HER MENSTRUAL CYCLE:; FOR EXAMPLE, IF SHE IS OVULATING, SHE MAY BE ATTRACTED TO A RUGGED AND MASCULINE FACE. BUT, IF SHE IS MENSTRUATING OR MENOPAUSAL, SHE TENDS TO BE ATTRACTED TO A MAN WITH DUCT TAPE ON HIS MOUTH AND A SPEAR LODGED IN HIS CHEST WHILE HE IS ON FIRE. NO FURTHER STUDIES ARE EXPECTED ON THIS SUBJECT.
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