Say a prayer for me. Praying for anyone struggling right now. ❤We're in this together.

Been there! It is so hard to just keep pushing through sometimes. And it take the wind right out of your sails! (HUGS)

Thanks sis. My doctor prescribed zoloft for me. Do you have any experience? I keep forgetting to take it but guess it might help. I'm not a big fan of pills.

Medications scare me. I have never taken any. I have had relatives take it. They seemed to gain a tolerance for it and need to have their dosage adjusted periodically. Do you ever do any sort of relaxation type of stuff? It may help some. It's pretty much what I rely on. While it is not necessarily a silver bullet that takes the monster out, I find it helps me get my train back on the track better when it goes off the rails. Maybe go to you tube and find some videos if it sounds like something you would like to try.

I do need to find some coping methods to fall back on especially when I feel overwhelmed. I like to watch funny things. Maybe I'll try to relaxing music. I love singing. I guess my problem is with 4 little kids I'm on survival mode all the time just meeting their needs, I forget to take care of myself until I'm near meltdown.

You know when I have had times when my kids were little and the pressure was on I would turn silly. Maybe if the kids were all up in the kitchen while I was trying to get things done I would stop and dance with them or sing or grab one and give them a big hug. The choosing to let go and just cut loose a little really kept me from losing it.

When I was growing up my mother was abusive. She was also a always screaming and yelling, she would bet us nearly on a daily basis, she said the meanest and nastiest things that you would never expect a mother to say to her children. I swore I would not be that type of mother to my kids. So I really had that to motivate me. In moments where I wanted to scream and throw things I took a detour and made a point to laugh or have some type of fun in that moment. I think we get so involved if feeling the pressures of our daily chores and to-do's that we focus too deeply on the "getting it all done" part, and less on the enjoyment of life. I think we are hard wired to take care of it all and feel inferior if we "fail" at it.

I admire you for being able to break out of that abusive cycle to make a better life for your children.

I agree making time to just enjoy life and spend little moments with your kids makes such a difference. I notice their behavior is so much better when I'm more present for them and less worried about getting things done. I'm the one the puts pressure on myself to have a neat house, the laundry done, everything just so. So I'm learning to let go. If everyone is clothed, clean, fed rested and happy then I know my day was productive. Thanks for the reminder :)

My Memaw used to say, "Dishes will wait, little ones won't." I finally come to the reality that the work is never done anyway, so killing myself to keep it all squared away all the time was only hurting my sanity. I learned to make peace with not being able to keep up sometimes. My husband doesn't make a big deal out of it thankfully. If he did I may smack him with some cast iron. LOL

You seem like a good mother

My kids were no accident. So I guess that they were planned could play into the way I do things also. I also know that they are growing up very fast and if I don't enjoy the time we have now I will regret it later. Once the babies are grown you can't get the time back.

Well also being a Christian mean you cant be living a homesexual lifestyle. So there is that. My issue though is that some of the LGBTQ community is pushing pedophilia

It's a slippery slope we're on here. You have they little boy who shouldn't even be concerned with sex dancing for gay men. I don't care what a person's stance is on homosexuality, a child is a child and should not be dealing with adults in a sexual way. I be you anything we will hear from this child in another 10-15 years with stories of how he was abused during this time. Then you have drag queens at the library reading stories. At least one of whom was not supposed to have contact with children. These kids parents taking them to this stuff should really reconsider what they are putting on their kids.

Well grandbabies are a second chance

That is true. That being of course, if my kids decide they want babies. I hate to say, in this world I would feel guilty bringing anymore in.

Yeah that's true. But make sure your daughters like boys that is one step there. If you want biological grandkids

I don't push them with this whole gender neutral thing we hear going around. And they do not go to public school so that won't be an influence. I think people should leave sexuality out of all conversations with kids. If you let them be they will be who ever they are. I think parents push their kids into inappropriate subject matter when it comes to that. I mean, a 5 year old does not need to worry about that. But yet these poor kids are being bombarded with it these days.

I agree. Not to pry but even your oldest shouldn't know. But they should be raised to like the opposite sex you know.

She is 12 now. So These talks about the birds and the bees have come up. I don't think it's even a matter of raising them to like the opposite sex because that is what most of us naturally do. I do feel that in some cases a person does have some sort of biological abnormality which may have them feeling attracted to the same sex. I do not sense that in either of my kids this is the case. Reason being, they actually saw two women kiss out in public once. They seemed freaked out about it. I asked what they thought of it and they said it didn't seem right to them. And that was without me ever having influenced their opinion. So there's that.

In this house we do not tend to discuss race, gender, sexuality, financial status, weight etc... when it comes to people. For example we would never say, "This fat woman did that" or "That black man did that" or "Those gay people shouldn't do that". So my kids tend not to really consider a lot of these types of things in general. But if they see something that they feel uncomfortable about they will speak up. Some people would try to force a child to accept or be comfortable with certain things if they seemed bothered by it. But I am not going to do that. If their gut tells them something feels off, then they shouldn't be forced into thinking something is totally fine. The kids and I do go to church, and I am sure it comes up the Sunday School for the older teenage crowd. They don't address it with the younger kids unless something is asked.

Well thank God for judgment day and hell. Honestly, you're right parent think they are so great cause. " I RaiSE mY KiDS GEnDeR NeuTRAl" yeah also with sexual abuse most times kids keep quite cause they think no one will believe them.
Then those freaking drags will cry hate crime and win because they will have the public and a good lawyer. And people will be like just because he's a drag doesn't mean he's a pervert other people are. Which is true. But If a man dress like an ugly woman I'd definitely first point at him to be a pervert. Smglh

Medications just get you addicted might as well drink alcohol.

There are a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts in my family. It's sad.

Wow. Eeshh
Well that why I stay away from.that crap

I never got too much into any of it. I admit that I did smoke out a little when I was a teenager, but it made me paranoid and made my heart race. It was one big anxiety attack. I decided I hated the way it made me feel so I never did it anymore. I did drink some though. I was never an alcoholic. I stopped drinking entirely when I was trying to get pregnant. I didn't want to hurt the baby. Because you know. a woman can be pregnant for weeks before she even knows it.

You've quite since

I have not had any thing to drink since March of 2006. Actually, the only thing I have drank alcohol wise is a shot of sake. It was about a tablespoon full. I read that it was supposed to be beneficial to the quality of sleep in this small amount. However all it did was set me on fire. I felt like I was in an oven. So that was the end of that.

Listen I say this if you want to trip out. Just watch a 60s music video

Yeah I wouldn't know anything thing about side effects. I know LSD makes you see crap

NEVER EVER EVER would I touch that stuff. My older brother used to drop like 10 hits at once every Friday when he got paid. He is crazy. Literally crazy.

I take zoloft

Have you been taking the Zoloft?

Who me or Mich? I remembered to take it last night. Only because I was in the medicine cabnet looking for advil for my head that felt like it was going to explode and my ears felt like they were being jabbed with red hot pokers and I got another stress canker sore in my mouth. Just another day in paradise. ;)

Sorry, I was asking you. The way this thing puts replies can be crazy sometimes. Anyhoo, do you mind if I ask you questions about it so far? If you don't want to discuss it I understand, but I would like to know of how it works.

No problem, Ask away! Although I'm not sure how well I can answer until I've taken it a little longer. Maybe like after a week or 2. That's about how long meds take to kick in. :)

Okay, so I guess it doesn't act right away then. Did you feel that it helped at all? I actually did consider today finding some type of medical help. I had a big one this morning. I was hyperventilating and I actually almost called an ambulance. This sucker hit me out of no where. Not a single warning sign. Left me feeling wrecked!

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I think you def. should find some medical help. Do you have a counselor to talk to? Or any trusted friend who can help talk you down? I was on Zoloft before a few years back and I recall it helping but I didn't have nearly the issues or responsibilities I'm facing now that contribute to anxiety. So I hope it helps this time round too.

I usually do a pretty good job of reeling myself in. Today was totally unexpected. The thing I worry about with medications are side effects. I am afraid of taking something and regretting it! But I feel I need something. This is becoming such an exhausting force in my life.

I hear ya. In my experience zoloft hasn't had many side effects other than maybe weight gain. And it's not like I gained 300 lbs or anything but I will increase your appetite a little. Yea panic attacks will sap the life out of you and not only is it draining on you it affects everyone who lives with you too. My brother had severe bipolar and would get physically violent when he was manic and then want to kill himself when he was depressive. That fluctuation up and down day to day was awful for everyone. Finding the right combination of meds made a world of a difference because he was otherwise a very amiable guy. But the weight gain usually is a turnoff for people but as my dear cousin who suffers from anxiety said "better to be fat and happy than skinny and miserable", lol. With watching diet and good exercise it may not even affect you that much. But yea if you can find a good doctor a prescription might help. So you can't pinpoint any trigger point for today's episode?

Well, I may already be fat. LOL! I am 5'3" and at 180 lbs. I actually haven't been able to eat today because of this whole thing. My appetite is the first thing to go out the window for some reason.

I tell you one thing that is a common trigger is oddly enough my breathing or heart beat. You know how if you exert yourself just to breathing a little more, well sometimes I become hyper-aware of my breathing or pulse and it makes me panic for some reason. I do not understand why it does this to me. However while in a panic I do reason with myself about this being the thing that I do. That usually helps, I make a point to do the slower breathing and not focusing on the panic feeling. Today was a bust though. I guess I can't always stop it.

Lol. I'm 5'5 and my scale has been stuck at 200 for awhile now, despite returning several to the store because obviously they're broken, ;) I'm the opposite I eat when I'm stressed. But I do get knots on my stomach when I'm upset. So maybe I need to get upset more to lose a pound? Lol. I can't imagine having your own body give you anxiety like breathing or a heartbeat but it makes sense especially if you feel they sound abnormal. Do you have a way to distract yourself from a fixated thought? Turn on the radio. Step outside or jump in the shower?