Would love to hear some of your techniques to avoid a meltdown.

I just try to distance myself from people, sometimes taking a drive in the country, or a nice walk through the forest is good... And if all else fails, just cry, for a really long time, until you get it all out.

Change the scenery, take a drive, listen to classical music, these are some things I do...

All great ideas. I do find singing and music relax me. I guess I should mention I'm at home with kids so leaving the house isn't always an easy option.

I have no idea but my insides all burst out.............jk!!

Oh another tip : do some coloring apparently that calms your self so go somewhere quite and calm and start coloring!

I used to do a lot of painting and drawing but got away from it after kids. Perhaps I need to awaken my artistic side again. :)

Deep breathes

I find quiet if possible. Noise makes it more difficult to chill out. Deep breaths, maybe put on a relaxation video on you tube to zone out to for a few minutes, if none of that is possible in the moment I take a deep breaths and just try to tune out what ever is irritating me. Sometimes smiling and purposely responding in a calm way seems to help. If you ever notice when you start responding as if you are annoyed it seems to fuel the irritation.

You're right, chaotic noise makes things worse. I'll have to try the smile/calm response.

Anytime we are all in the car together with the radio going, my husband yammering away on the phone, the kids doing whatever... and I want to drive off the nearest cliff... it is about the only way to hold my composure. The deep breath definitely helps a LOT.

Yea, with 4 under 4 quiet moments are few and far between. I'll have to take more deep breaths.

Good grief! I only have two, and they are now 12 and 9. Bless your soul!

I don't think I want another baby until at least my current ones are out of diapers.

I did cloth diapers with mine, so I saved a lot of money in that way. But the chore of changing diapers almost feels endless with just 2 little ones, I can't imagine changing more than that. Are any of yours potty trained yet?

They say girls are easier than boys. My 2 year old doesn't seem the least bit interested although she did insist on peeing outside after she watched her 4 year old brother have to go on the side of the road when I was in the middle of nowhere. Lol.

One thing is for sure, they won't train if they aren't ready. I hate those people who think all kids should follow some cookie cutter development timetable. They love looking down their noses at everyone else. My oldest trained easier than my youngest. Both are girls. Sometimes they just aren't ready, or they don't actually get it. I recall when I was potty training just not understanding it. Yet there my parents were screaming at me and beating me at every accident. I knew another gal who had a child who didn't really potty train until he was 5 years old.

Aww. That's unfortunate you were forced to train. My husband is like spank if they have an accident I say no, they're learning. I agree kids will learn when they're ready. We don't force them to walk or talk but they learn, same for eating, sleeping and going potty. Every child is different and has individual skills and needs, heck even my identical twins are world's apart in personality. You sound like you had a rough childhood.

I fear I sometimes share too freely, as my normal isn't actually normal. LOL... I sometimes say things and after the fact wonder if I should have shared less.
I will say, spanking for that can make it worse. It's hard to know exactly how to handle so much of what we are faced with as parents. The age old answer used to be, "Whoop their butts! That's all they understand!" I think sometimes we think that really is the only answer. It will let a child know they messed up somehow, but they won't understand how. Verbal communication can help a lot. Sometimes it doesn't click right away.

No matter how they arrive, at least they get there eventually. Sometimes whittling away our sanity in the process!

It's ok. Sometimes sharing painful memories anonymously is easier than in person.

I agree on the spanking, after growing up being spanked almost all the time for seemingly insignificant infractions and usually never knowing why I was being punished I swore never to spank my own children. In my culture it's common to actually burn a child for misbehaving, I have a scar on my face from being burned at age 1! I guess it's good I was adopted out of that situation. My husbands culture is also very pro-corporal punishment. It's been difficult going against our own upbringing for our kids but I'm happy we can carve our own path. Although it's hard to know sometimes how to strike a balance between too lenient and too strict.

I hope you've been able to forgive your parents. looking back sometimes we realize we could have done better. Hugs

Well spanking are good in some cases. For instance when I was a wee lad I was being a typical toddler wanting to touch the electric socket. My dad yelled NO. Well. Well being the rebellious person I am I tried to touch it anyway l, well he slapped my hand good and then I was afraid of electric sockets until I was allowed to use them.

BURNING! Oh my lord... I cannot imagine! Burns are so painful. I cannot imagine how a baby must feel receiving that sort of punishment, and on the face!

I can't say I have never spanked my kids. But I have done so very selectively, and not with out explanation. And certainly not without fair warning. My kids are so used to getting a discussion that they seem to listen pretty well on their own. I began reasoning with them at a young age. They learn what they did, why they shouldn't do it, and what the other person is feeling (if anther person was hurt in some way) and what to do differently. I firmly believe a solid thought process is taught and not just randomly acquired.

I hate my parents. I won't lie. I speak to them, but would never leave my kids with them. But it all did help me be a better parent, so there's the good side! (hugs)

Wear are you from

I had a bad relationship with my mom until I got married and had kids myself. Then I learned about the abuse she had as a child with an alcoholic dad and other painful events in her life so then it made more sense why she was the way she was and I found it easier to forgive her. She has said sorry in her own way even if not verbally. Past hurts don't excuse hurting others but sometimes that's how others deal with pain. I'm glad your kids have a good mom like you.

Hahhaa

Yep. Texas.

Honduras

Do you now live in the states

I just can't go the cloth diaper route. I already have endless laundry but add poopy cloths to it, no thanks. I breastfeed so at least I'm saving money that way, lol

It ain't for everyone! I found it to be less of a hassle than I thought it would be. I had people suggesting a diaper service, but I assume that would take away the money saving aspect. LOL

A warm bubble bath after the kids have settled down for the night is GREAT!

And if you need stress relief WHILE WAITING FOR that moment, just think of the bubble bath and you'll smile thinking about how great it's gonna be

Another thing you can try is what I myself have done. No, I'm not gay, but this really helps.

Go to the following YouTube link about babies and puppies compilation from last year

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPW75ZO4pIA

Some of the takes might make you shake your head and/or roll your eyes, but many of them are CUTE!!! And you can even see if one of the kids wants to watch it with you

That was so cute. Pets and babies never fail to bring a smile to my face. Thanks friend.

Go into your room and take a nap. Works for me. Im 16, and my little sisters are annoying AF! so, a nap or reading calm me down

Pet the cat

I would if I weren't so darned allergic to them. :( I'm a dog lover myself but no pets at the moment.

Oof, sorry. My cat died the week after Thanksgiving last year. This was the first time I'd ever lost a precious kitty, so it was hard. My dad keeps harping on the fact that he wants a dog, because he grew up with them. Hope you find some sort of comfort!

I'm sorry about your kitty. It can be hard losing a pet since they become like one of the family. I have been feeling better lately, getting some help from church friends, contacted an old counselor and hopefully getting some medication soon to help with depression.

That's great! You know... that dang cat was 14, and older than me! But he didn't die of old kitty age... A tumor in his lung did...

Well he loied a good long life. Sorry he had to end it that way but I'm sure he was well cared for.

Well fed. That is what Khan was.

It

Sleep maybe...

Yes, I do get a nap once in awhile and it does refresh me.

I just feel groggy, and like I wasted my time, but to each their own

Depends on how long. Some people can do power naps like 20 minutes. If you go too long you go into REM so your body thinks it's night and makes you more tired.

I can't even take a nap anymore because when K wake up for the day, I'M UP!

*I

Listen to the Beatles

Music or a hot bath usually helps when I feel overwhelmed. When things are the really bad I loke to recite or listen to Brahmic mantras.

Had to look up Brahmic mantras. I guess no matter how you worship realizing you don't always have to be in charge helps when things are out of your control. I can only manage 5 minute showers in the morning. But perhaps there can be a way to take a relaxing bath once in awhile.

I know, that for me anyway, the mantras truly help balance blood pressure. And the hot baths also help focus the old muse when I get writer's block; push out the trivial, stressful stuff from the forefront of my thoughts.

Lol. 40 minute showers is what I do. 😆

I've never in my life taken a 40 minute shower. My dad was a army major so he never let us stay in there for more than 10 minutes, "wet, suds, ,rinse" any more was wasting water. He also would shut lights off on us to save electricity. lol

That must have been a 'fun' childhood

It actually wasn't bad. He's much more relaxed. Now that he's retired.

😆

dorito me soldier