Butt dial - I cannot answer the phone while crapping

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS!? THE PHONE DOESN’T RING WHILE I’M IN THE LIVING ROOM! THEN I GO TO THE BATHROOM TO TAKE A CRAP, AND WHILE I’M EMPTYING MY BOWELS, THE PHONE RINGS! HELLO, DON’T DIAL ME WHILE I’M TAKING A DUMP!