HARK! UNITED AIRLINES CLAIMS, “GET THE HELL OFF MY PLANE.”; VOLUNTEER YOUR SEAT TO MUNOZ; OR YOU’LL GET A BROKEN NOSE. THANKS FOR CHOOSING UNITED AIRLINES. YOU WILL DIE IN THE FRIENDLY SKIES. YOUR BODY WILL GO TO BAGGAGE CLAIM. UNITED WON’T PAY YOUR HOTEL STAY. HARK! UNITED AIRLINES CLAIMS, “GET THE HELL OFF MY PLANE.”