CLOSE THE GATE! THERE'S A CARAVAN OF ILLEGAL MIGRANTS COMING THIS WAY! I JUST GOT WORD FROM THE PENTAGON. IT TURNS OUT THAT THE CARAVAN ISN'T DANGEROUS; AND THEY'RE APPLYING FOR ASYLUM LEGALLY. OPEN THE GATE! BUT HOW ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SCARE OUR CONSTITUENTS INTO VOTING FOR OUR REELECTION? CLOSE THE GATE AND SEND IN A BUNCH OF ARMED TROOPS!