HELLO WEARY TRAVELER, WE REPRESENT THE TIMELINE. I AM THE PAST, WHERE THINGS COST LESS, AND PEOPLE KNEW THE VALUE OF A HARD DAY'S WORK. BUT THEY ONLY LIVED TO BE TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD. AND I AM THE FUTURE, WHERE PEOPLE HAVE NO MORALS AND NO EMOTIONS BUT WE HAVE A BUNCH OF KICKASS GADGETS. AND I'M THE PRESENT, WHICH SUCKS. WE HAVE NOTHING COOL, AND ALSO NO MORALS.