Dom Ain't Easy

takes a lot of skill to be any good at it

Yep, too many folks think it's just about getting your partner to bow to your every need. A true Dom knows there is give and take and pleasing your partner satisfied and safe can be a fine line.

exactly! it takes a lot of skill to walk that line and give the perfect balance of pleasure and pain - being sub is waaay easier... also, I think you can't be a good dom if you've never been a sub

I don't know about that, my sub says I'm the best Dom she has ever had, bar none. I've never played the sub role. I can read her like a book, every physical reaction, every sound and her eyes are like a book. Maybe we just match up on so many levels, all I know is neither one of us want it to end.

Yeah, knowing the other person on a very deep level definitely also helps. I'm just speaking from my experience - I have always been leaning more towards being the dominant one, but when I submitted myself to someone else for the first time it was a real eye-opening experience. Maybe I was just a little inexperienced before but after that I think I started putting my focus on different things... For example, before I would usually consider the penetration the climax of the act. Now, if I commit to the game with someone I take more time and focus entirely on them which is a much more exhausting experience but leads to so much more pleasure. I'm really glad I had a partner with whom I could try out both sides. Now I actually think of the dom as the partner who is there to serve the sub and not the other way around. It might sound paradox, but the sub only has to give themselves up. It's the doms responsibility to care for the sub and to always be in complete control. It's something a lot of people never think about. Including me until that first time submitting myself... I also think it was a really good experience to switch roles with the same partner because you get to know each other in such deeper ways. You keep finding new things to do next time you're on top when you completely let your thoughts go. It's almost like "revenge" - in a good way though! Maybe that's the wrong word... I don't mean "I'm gonna hit you harder because last time you hit me"... I mean if the other one found a new way to give you pleasure when they're on top (and, of course, I don't mean location here) you might get a new idea to return the favor the next time the tables are turned. I now consider it more of a performance than I ever had before that... In the beginning we were just having sex and one of us was the more active one. But in the end it was a lot more intense even though we technically had less sex in the conventional sense. It's kind of sad our paths have since split but it definitely changed my understanding of physical relationships in general and I would not want to miss that experience.

It took me a whole lot of life passing me by before I embraced the sadist that I have inside me. It took a very special person to convince me that I wasn't broken, I wasn't sick, I wasn't some sort of deviant, I was exactly who I was supposed to be. It has been so liberating to realize that the 'gift' I can give to her makes her feel alive and is something she has craved from a partner for a long time. When I first started researching BDSM I realized how many misconceptions society, including myself at first, have about the culture and what it truly means to trust someone so completely as to put your physical and mental well-being in their control. I find it so humbling that I found someone like that, to the point where she surrenders to me completely. I find great pride in pushing her limits a little more each time and also only having had her safe word out 1 time, it's not about pushing someone to the point of breaking, but expanding their limits and reaching new places together you thought were not possible. The sub in a good relationship I think does have way more ‘power’ than the Dom, they set the limits and communicate their needs. As a Dom it’s my job to figure out how to get her there and make sure we both experience the pleasure and satisfaction form our time together. And Dom High/Space is a real thing as far as I’m concerned, just like SubSpace, it is different in experience, but there is no feeling I have ever had like being in that moment/space of having complete dominance over another person and realizing they have willingly given it over to you.

beautifully said :)

I've got some other Memes along the lines of this one that I'll add from time to time.

I'll keep an eye out for them ;)