Philosoraptor

I WAS BORED SO I TEXTED THIS TO MY COUSIN; YOU WILL BE GOING 2 MPH ON YOU’RE NEW TRICYCLE AND THEN A PEBBLE IS GOING TO DECIDE THAT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A BAD DAY AND THEN FALL BUT RIGHT BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND YOU FALL INTO A WORMHOLE THAT LEADS ONTO THE TOP OF A BUILDING AND THEN YOU WILL FALL OF LANDING ON A TRAMPOLINE BOUNCING 6 FEET UP INTO THE AIR LANDING BACK ON THE WHEELS OF THE TRICYCLE BUT APPERANTLY YOU HAVE BUILT ENOUGH SPEED TO GO 4MPH WHICH IS 9MPH TOO FAST FOR WHAT THE TRICYCLE IS MEANT TO GO. ZOOMING OFF OF A CLIFF AND PLUMMETING INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN BUT GETTING SUCKED THROUGH AN AIR VENT IN THE OCEAN AND TELEPORT TO A PARK AND THEN THE PRESIDENT COMES DOWN AND HIGH FIVES YOU AND THEN MARK ZUCKERBURG COMES DOWN AND SLAUGHTERS BABY BARRACK OBAMA WHO IS ALSO AT THE PARK WITH YOU CAUSING YOU TO GO INTO A STATE OF PARALYSIS AND DREAM ABOUT YOU GETTING RAMMED BY A UNICORN CAUSING YOU TO WAKE UP AGAIN WITH MORE ADRENALINE PUNCHING THROUGH MARKS ROBOTIC FACE. THEN YOU GO HOME AND THEN HAVE A CHIP SEND YOU TO SPACE TO MEET THE ILLUMINATI WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE AND TELLS YOU “TOMATOES ARE FRUITS” AND YOU SAY THAT YOU KNOW CAUSING THE ILLUMINATI TO EXPLODE AND TURN INTO A RIFT OF YELLOW SLOWLY SWALLOWING THE UNIVERSE AROUND YOU BUT THEN YOU FROLIC YOU’RE WAY BACK TO YOU’RE HOUSE TO HAVE ONE LAST RIDE ON YOU’RE SCOOTER BEFORE THIS UNIVERSE IS SWALLOWED BY YOU’RE BASIC KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU’RE BRAIN CELLS CAN MAGICALLY REMEMBER IN THE STATE OF A BRAIN MOVIE AND THEN YOU TRY TO PULL OF A SICK TAIL WHIP AND HIT YOU’RE ANKLE WITH THE METAL THAT WAS GOING .000000000000000000000000000001 NANOMETERS PER SECOND CAUSING YOU TO ALSO LOSE GRASP ON REALITY AND HAVE TUNNEL VISION MEANING THAT YOU KNEW THAT YOU WOULD END SOON AND THEN DIE FROM A PAIN IN YOU’RE RIGHT ANKLE WITH YOU’RE LAST WORDS BEING “MAN THE WEATHERMAN LIED TO ME, AGAIN!!!” AND THAT’S HOW YOU WILL SLOWLY PERISH IN YOU’RE DRIVEWAY/DIE. -RYAN MARTINEZ