THIS LIGHTSABER WAS ON YOUR DADDY’S BELT WHEN HE WAS SHOT DOWN OVER MUSTAFAR. HE WAS CAPTURED, PUT IN A SEPERATIST PRISON CAMP. HE KNEW IF THE DROIDS EVER SAW THE LIGHTSABER IT’D BE CONFISCATED, TAKEN AWAY. THE WAY YOUR DAD LOOKED AT IT, THAT LIGHTSABER WAS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT. HE’D BE DAMNED IF ANY CLANKERS WERE GONNA PUT THEIR GREASY METAL HANDS ON HIS BOY’S BIRTHRIGHT. SO HE HID IT IN THE ONE PLACE HE KNEW HE COULD HIDE SOMETHING: HIS ASS. FIVE LONG YEARS, HE HID THIS LIGHTSABER UP HIS ASS. THEN HE DIED OF DYSENTERY, HE GAVE ME THE LIGHTSABER. I HID THIS UNCOMFORTABLE HUNK OF METAL -UP MY ASS- TWO YEARS. THEN, AFTER SEVEN YEARS, I WAS SENT HOME TO TATOOINE. AND NOW, LITTLE MAN, I GIVE THE LIGHTSABER TO YOU.
