Confession Bear

Hiking? Camping? Surfing? Skiing? Canoeing? Horse riding?

Been there, friend...all I can say is think of those who love you. Sometimes, I think the only reason I'm still here is because what snuffing it would do to my kids, my mom, my sister...I can't be the source of that much pain to them.

It might get better; I won't say it will, because it doesn't always. Know that there will always be bad days, but there are good days, too. I don't know about you, but when I have a good day after a long string of bad days...go***amn, that day is great. And when I see my kids, my family...nothing makes me feel better than that. So, make those times that you will be with others something to look forward to. Then, slog through the rest of the shit keeping that flag in sight. Reward yourself; get treats every now and again. A double chocolate muffin on your coffee break, a new (or pre-used) video game if you're into gaming, a month's subscription to your favorite porn site...bugger...do stuff for you.

I won't tell you to stay strong because you already are.

Abide, dude...just abide.

The only person I can ever think of who would truly miss me is my dad, and I do often think of him when I get low. As for everyone else, I'm just in their way or they barely notice I exist.

My fear of failure is probably the biggest thing that keeps me going. Destroying the life I have, in one way or another, would be the ultimate failure.

My closest friends made such an issue of my problems I wrote them out of my life. Solitude and isolation are tough, but honestly...there's a certain simplicity to a solitary life. Not always fun, but I have to say I like being alone more often than I'm lonely.