I WAS HIKING IN THE WOODS WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, WHEN A GIANT BROWN BEAR CHARGES AT US, REALLY ANGRY. WE MUST HAVE GOTTEN CLOSE TO HER CUBS OR SOMETHING. LUCKILY, I HAD MY 9MM PISTOL WITH ME. ONE SHOT TO MY GIRLFRIEND'S KNEECAP AND I COULD WALK AWAY AT A COMFORTABLE PACE.