Gru's Plan

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XD XD XD XD THATS AMERICA'S PLAN!!

2p GW: WAIT WHAT?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

WR: I was born with my 2p inside my brain

2p GW: CAN YOU EXPLAIN A BIT MORE, BECAUSE I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

WR: she is like a part of my brain

2p GW: SO HOW DO I GET RID OF HER?!?!

WR: I don’t think u cam

2p GW: OK, YOU SAID THAT SHE WAS IN YOUR BRAI ... SO WITH ENOUGH BRAIN DAMAGE, SHE SHOULD GO AWAY.

*2p GW throws WR against the wall*

WR: I’ve tried everything

2p GW: HEY, MAYBE IF I FIGHT HER, I MIGHT KILL HER AND MAKE HER GO AWAY!!! LET'S TRY IT! !!

WR: she'll come back as long as I’m alive and healthy

2p GW: SO YOU WON'THE MISS HER, THEN.

WR: yeah cause the. I couldn’t do the abilities... but do you have a name?

2p GW : NO... BUT RUSSIA CALLS ME ALEX.

WR: Alex..... hm I’ll remember that

2p GW: SO SHOULD I TRY AND GET RID OF YOUR OTHER SIDE, OR SHOULD I GET BACK TO DOING MY THING?

WR: back to doing your thing.. nice to meet you Alex!

2p GW: OK, I GUESS I'LL GO BACK TO DOING MY THING, WHICH IS BEING

*teleports behind WR*

*whispers* Creepy as f**k and nowhere to be seen.

SEE YOU AROUND.

*disappears*

WR: bye............ wonder where She went

2p GW: *teleports behind W*

*whispers* still here.

WR: oh heh you startled me so when Evernote I whisper you’re name you’ll come?

Italy: I'M SO SORRY, IT WASN'T MY FAULT, SHE NEARLY KILLED ME!!! SHE TOOK THE PLANS!!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!

WR: ...........
Prussia:……

Italy: *runs out of the room*

WR: ITALY GET BACK HERE NOW WERE GONNA GET THE PLANS BACK!!!

Italy: That's not possible! They're too strong!

WR: i have relations... come on!
Prussia: oh presuading ur borfreind

Italy: NOBODY, I MEAN NOBODY EVER BEAT RUSSIA AT ANYTHING!!! ONLY THAT ONE TIME WITH JAPAN, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE RUSSIA WAS SO DISTURBED BY THE HENTAI THAT JAPAN HAS THAT HE COMPLETELY LOST HIS CONCENTRATION!!!

WR: just follow me
*goes to the allies meeting place*
Prussia: man this is so kick a$s have u been here b4 *hn*?
WR: once..... *opens door*

Russia: *closes door*

No, not today!

WR: plz i need to tell my boyfriend something important!
Ameroca: let her in dudes!

2p GW: WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT ALIVE AND HEALTHY?!

WR: there’s still no promises unless u kill her

2p GW: THEN I KILL HER!!! SIMPLE!!!

WR: nein it would be to weird without her

2p GW: BUT YOU JUST SAID YOU HATED HER AND SHE'S A PROBLEM!!!

WR: ik but she can be fun like sumoning stuff

2p GW: CAN'T YOU DO THAT AS WELL?!

WR: well only 2p rights have ablitys

2p GW: WELL I GUESS THAT WOULD BE A MINOR INCONVENIENCE.

WR: yeah but sometimes I can do some of it but

Russia: No, she is with the enemy. If you two want s3x, you can do that after this meeting.

America: NO IM NOT HAVING S3X WITH HER NOW LET ME SEE HER FOR A MINUTE SHE MIGHT BE P1SSED AT ME!!
WR: I may be

Russia: No, we won't risk the enemy hearing our plans. Besides, nobody likes her, anyway!

*Russia barricades the door*

WR: d@mn it.........................PRUSSIA GOT SOMEBODY PREGNANT
Prussia: I didn’t
WR: roll with it

Russia: That's not possible. Prussia could never get laid with a face like his. Anyway, back to our meeting...

WR: let’s just listen

Russia: So we are going g to nuke here and here and here because WE KNOW YOU ARE LISTENING. GTFO.

WR: d@mn it
Prussia: hmmmm lets go get beers on me

America: Ok guys, all your plans suck. Listen to me, I'm the most heroic!

England: Oh, do shut your face, peasant.

China: Wow, you're all babies. Listen to me, I'm the oldest, I know better.

England: I'm surrounded by idiots.

France: DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN IDIOT?!?!

*England and France start fighting*

Russia and GW: *just sitting there, smiling.

Russia: It seems like nobody except you is listening, so I tell you the plans. So I go to (inaudible) and (inaudible) as England and France go to (inaudible) with their (inaudible). Then China goes to (inaudible) with me. You go to (inaudible) and protect me as I (inaudible). Ok?

GW: What about America?

Russia: He can go f**k himself.

WR: ITALY U WANT A D@MN TROPICAL WINE S+IT IV DRUNKEN BEER SENSE I WAS 11 AND U WANT A P"SSY A"S DRINK.
Prussia: WHY CANT WE JUST CALL MIC NOW TO GET OUR DRINKS?
Italy: IM SORRY PLZ DOMT HURT ME!!!

GW: Have I met my 2p? Yeah, she's creepy as f**k and nowhere to be seen.

WR: ok what about mine?

GW: Yeah. Why.

WR: oh s8it

GW: What's wrong?

WRm nein nein nein nein nein

GW: FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET BABY JESUS, TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG?!?!?!?!

WR: do u hate me for Scare?

GW: NO! What makes you think that?!

WR: some people do and blame everything she does on me......... most don’t get it

2p GW : WHAT AM I, A WAITRESS? NAH, I DO WHAT I WANT.

WR: oh ok I’ll see you around Alex

2p GW : OK SEE YOU.

*disappears*

WR: later

*NPT walks by*

OH MY... WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED, WR?! WHY ARE YOU SO BLOODY?! I'M SURPRISED/DISAPPOINTED YOU'RE NOT DEAD!!!

WR: Someone stabbed me so my 2p dosent get out it’s getting pretty bad

NPT: NO way in hell is that a stab, It looks more like Alex One-Punched your sorry ass. What did you do to piss her off?!

WR: I asked her to do it

NPT: You listen, yeah, and you listen good: YOU DO NOT ASK ALEX TO EVER HURT YOU. EVER. SHIT LIKE THIS IS GUARANTEED TO HAPPEN.

WR: ok ill try not to

GW: *AHEM*

*waves phone in the air, with Google Translate on it*

WR: s*it
Prussia: f,ck

GW: TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

WR: meh we got the plans and google translates f'cked up anyways

GW: Sure. So you'll be there tomorrow?

WR: maybe I’ll discuss with Germany

~And coincidentally, Germany just happened to arrive~

GW: HEY, GERMANY!!! GERMANY!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!

*GW shows Germany the plans*

Germany: Mother of God... These plans are amazing... WR!!! YOU HAVE TO BE THERE TOMORROW!!! IT'S A ONCE IN A LIFESTYLE OPPORTUNITY!!!

WR: let’s go over here *goes to an area and talks inaudible*

GW: *sneaks up behind them to listen to the conversation*

*Notices a lovely, expensive phone in WR's pocket*

*Too busy picking WR's pocket to listen to the conversation*

*WR didn't notice GW*

WR: *still talking in an inaduable voice* do we agree?
germany: yes it seems resonable
WR: now let me get my phone and call romano b/c we need an axis meeting *pulls out phone b/c gw hadnt got the item yet

2p GW: BUT WHYYYY?!?!?!?!

WR: something thats wrong with me

2p GW: NAH, NAH, NAH, THAT'S F**KED UP. I WILL BE WILLING TO FIX IT, AS A WAY OF APOLOGISING FOR NEARLY KILLING YOU.

WR: ok

2p GW: SO WHAT'S WRONG?!?!

WR:.... with what? Oh yeah im bleeding jesus thats a lot of blood

2p GW: WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH YOU THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO MAKE ME NEARLY KILL YOU?!?!

WR: *whispers Scarelette*

2p GW: SCARLETTE?! WHO IS THAT?! I WILL F**KING RIP HER SPINE OUT!!! WHERE CAN I FIND HER?!?!

WR: in my brain

Hey, are you on?

YES R U?

America: #KillYourself.

Germany: how does she put up with u?

*Germany's phone rings*

Germany hello

Italy: GERMANY!!! GERMANY!!! HELP!!! THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL OUR PLANS!!! AAAAHHHH, DON'T HURT ME!!! WHITE FLAG!!! WHITE FLAG!!! *beeeeeeeeeeeep*

German: whos trying to steal it

Italy: RUSSIA'S- OW!!! NO, PLEASE!!! WHITE FLAG!!! IT'S GENERAL WINTER!!!

GW: WHERE DAFUQ ARE THE PLANS?!

Italy: THEY'RE IN THAT SAFE, BEHIND THAT PAINTING!!! THE CODE IS 2845!!! DON'T HURT ME!!!

GW: WHO'S ON THE PHONE?!

Italy: IT'S GERMANY!!!

GW: *on the phone* WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Germany: General Winter! Leave Italy alone!

GW: This isn't General Winter.

Germany: Then who are you?

GW: I'm yo mama.

Germany: f8ck................................. *hangs up phone and calls WR to get her a$s over t where italys at and bring prussia*

~But it's too late! GW already escaped, and shown the plans to Russia!~

WR: Italy we're here italy?
*fids italy in a ball*

NPT: Ok then, I'm glad we got that sorted. Now go to hospital.

WR: nah I got it

NPT: Nah. I don't believe you.

WR: why not?

NPT: What do you mean, why not? You're scared of hospitals, so how can I trust you to go there yourself?

WR: trust me

GW: *thinks* ah, shit! What else does she have?

*Reaches into WR's pocket and takes out her wallet. WR doesn't notice.*

WR: ................................................................................................... i think i brought my old walet with nothing in it

*GW opens the wallet, it's full of money*

GW: No, you didn't.

*Runs away*

WR: ...... yeah that one was full of fake money i was going to give england

*GW goes to police*

GW: Hello, my friend is making counterfeit money. Is that illegal?

Police: It is. Tell me who your friend is and where they live so we can arrest them.

GW: *calls WR* GIVE ME £1000 AND THE AXIS' WAR PLANS OR ELSE YOU TO TO PRISON!!!!!

WR: ok come here

GW: No, you come here. At the alley way next to the police station.

WR: ok fine

*GW waits for her*

WR: ok Nikita heres the mony

2p GW: *thumbs up*

WR: ok *gives her a knife*

2p GW: *drops the knife to say that knives are for little pussies*

*Punches a hole through her*

WR: ..

2p GW: *loading...*

2p GW: *screams* I'M GOING TO JAIL!!!

WR: hay just tell me ur nams plz so i can rember u

2p GW: HOW DAFUQ ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!

WR: idfk

2p GW: ARE YOU OK?!?! YOU NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTORS BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY DIE!!! YOU'RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD!!! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!!! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME KILL YOU, ANYWAY?!?!

WR: i just needed stabed once

GW: Don't worry, I'll never do that!

WR: really?

GW: Yeah, really.

WR: ..

GW: What?

WR: ...... *eye twitches and looks a bit red in the eyeris*

*GW approaches her carefully*

WR? Are you there?

WR: *eye twitches eyes r now half red and half brown*

GW: Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nope. Hell no. F**k this shit.

*Leaves*

WR: WAIT!!

GW: OOH, YAY! HEY OFFICER!!! APRIL FOOLS!!!

Police Officer: Oh, for f**k's sake.

WR: ..

GW: YOU'RE WELCOME.

WR: *whispers thx bud*

GW: AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS HOW YOU GET RICH QUICK!!! THANK YOU!!!

WR: and that’s how you realize u f*cked up

GW: Me? F**k up? Never. You're the one who f**ked up.

WR: nein shwesi (hope I spelled it right it means no s(it)

GW: Trololololololololololol!!! *Dances down the street*

WR: wait have u met ,y 2p?

GW: ...
GW: Hey. I know the Allies' plans. I'll tell you... For a price.

WR. Whats the price and we might consider

GW: Hmm.... My starting price is about £100, but I'm willing to change it.

WR: hmmmm what about £45 and vodkas?

GW: What about £75 and I give you an ambush plan to defeat the Russian military?

WR: deal! *prussia gives 50 itlay gives 25 and wr pays rest*

GW: *takes the money* So here's the plan... *Opens a map of Russia* Tomorrow,
you send your 2 largest armies to here *points to spots marked "pervyy ispytatel'nyy uchastok yadernogo oruzhiya" and "vtoroy ispytatel'nyy uchastok yadernogo oruzhiya"*. In between these places, a fairly small Russian army should be there. There's not many soldiers, but there's many good weapons you can use- cannons and stuff. Then move over to the west, towards Moscow, and you should surround the larger Russian troops with the Germans. Ok?

WR: got it.... now the allie plans

GW: The Russian troops (who you'll ambush) will be going east, to attack Japan. The other, larger group will be moving from Moscow to China. England and France will attack Italy, and America will go and f**k himself.

WR: ok got it
Prussia: u got all this
WR: Ja ich habe es auf meinem Handy und ich hatte Italien ist ... Ich habe ihm vor einer Stunde guten Gott von dem, was wir dort finden würden Gott sei Dank niemanden aber harry mich du und Ludwig versteht uns

GW: Huh? Wat?

WR: just help me plz by stabbing me

GW: NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH. NOPE. HELL NO. F**K THIS SHIT. F**K EVERYTHING. F**K MY LIFE.

*leaves*

WR: gr *tries to fibd npt*

*2p GW appears behind her*

WR. ..

*2p GW taps her on the shoulder to get her to notice her*

WR: oh hi sorry i didnt notice u

2p GW: *points at her, and makes a stabbing motion with her hands to tell WR she could help her*

WR: really?