I think I could fairly safely bet on this one....

Timewarp: This would be the news story, If President Obama was still in office, and freed the shoplifters from jail in China:; LAVAR BALL, CRAWLING ON HANDS AND KNEES, REFUSES COMPENSATION FOR FLIGHT EXPENSES TO WASHINGTON D.C. FATHER OF SHOPLIFTER FREED IN CHINA FLIES TO WASHINGTON; TO RIGHTFULLY KISS OBAMA'S FEET & WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON