BREAKING NEWS! THIS JUST IN, YOU BETTER YOU FIND YOU DADDY BOI; APPARENTLY HE'S NOT THE FATHER; LUKE, COME DOWN. WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS. TO ME, YOU'RE STILL MY SON. NOOOO! WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE MY DAD, I WAS SO HAPPY YOU WERE STILL ALIVE! BUT NOW! WHO'S GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO THROW A FOOTBALL? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE!?! YEAH WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR MOTHER WAS HOE.
