IF THOU ENJOYS A CERTAIN COCKTAIL DRINK MADE FROM RUM, PINEAPPLE JUICE, AND COCONUT MILK, BEING OUT WHEN WATER IS FALLING FROM THE SKY, IF THOU IS NOT INTO A CERTAIN HINDU SPIRITUAL PRACTICE, IF THOU IS AT LEAST OF AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE, IF THOU IS ENJOYS HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE AT 12:00 AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A BEACH, THEN I AM THE INFATUATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR. WRITE TO ME AND WE'LL GO SOME PLACE NICE.