A SCOTSMAN, AN ENGLISHMAN AND AN IRISHMAN ARE SITTING IN A BAR IN NEW YORK REMINISCING ABOUT HOME. "BACK IN ME PUB IN GLASGOW," BRAGS THE SCOTSMAN, "FER EVERY FOUR PINTS OF STOUT I ORDER, THEY GIVE ME ONE FER FREE!"; "IN ME PUB IN LONDON," SAYS THE ENGLISHMAN,"I PAY FER TWO PINT'S O' GUINESS AND THEY GIVE ME A THIRD ONE FREE!"; "THAT'S NUTHIN'" SAYS THE IRISHMAN, "IM MY PUB BACK IN DUBLIN, YOU WALK UP TO THE BAR, THEY GIVE THE FIRST PINT FER FREE, THE SECOND PINT FER FREE, THE THIRD PINT FER FREE -- AND THEN THEY TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS AND YOU HAVE COPIOUS QUANTITIES OF COITUS FOR FREE!"; "IS THAT TRUE?" ASKS THE SCOTSMAN. "HAS THAT REALLY HAPPENED TO YOU?"; "WELL, NO," SAYS THE IRISHMAN, "BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME SISTER ALL THE TIME!"