I have connections-
The Devil is my grandfather.
Oh wait, you don't get that joke. Allow me to explain:
My uncle always told my mom that she was the Devil's daughter because she was sometimes evil and no one knew who her father was. She was only his half-sister. That would make me the Devil's granddaughter. I make jokes with my friends that I am the Devil's granddaughter and I killed God... So now I AM God! And I made Jesus my bitch. >:)