"THE PRESIDENT CAN, AS HE HAS SAID, TALK TO ANIMALS. HE'S BEEN CHATTIN' WITH A CHIMP IN CHIMPANZEE! HE TALKS TO A TIGER, AND CHATS WITH A CHEETAH DRINKING TEA."; "HE CAN CONVERSE IN POLAR BEAR AND PYTHON. HE CAN CURSE IN FLUENT KANGAROO! IF PEOPLE ASK HIM, "CAN YOU SPEAK RHINOCEROS?" HE'D SAY, "OF COURSE, CAN'T YOU?" ANY OPINIONS TO THE CONTRARY ARE JUST JEALOUSY ABOUT THE PRESIDENT'S AMAZING ABILITY..."