A Few Zen Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY’RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND ONE-SEVENTH OF YOUR LIFE. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT’LL BE A GREAT TRADE! PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS….TOMORROW. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT! IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN TELEKINESIS? RAISE MY HAND… IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY; SOME JUST DON’T HAVE FILM. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS? EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DON’T GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME? INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING “WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!!!