I HOLD IN MY HAND THE ENVELOPES. A CHILD OF FOUR CAN PLAINLY SEE, THESE ENVELOPES HAVE BEEN HERMETICALLY SEALED. THEY'VE BEEN KEPT IN A MAYONNAISE JAR ON FUNK AND WAGNALLS' PORCH SINCE NOON TODAY. NO ONE KNOWS THE CONTENTS OF THESE ENVELOPES – BUT YOU, IN YOUR MYSTICAL AND BORDERLINE DIVINE WAY, WILL ASCERTAIN THE ANSWERS HAVING NEVER BEFORE HEARD THE QUESTIONS; SILENCE PLEASE; CIGAR BUTTS; NAME WHAT MY FATHER PASSED OUT WHEN I WAS BORN