Ebenezer Scrooge Puns

"... IT IS ... DESIRABLE THAT WE SHOULD MAKE SOME SLIGHT PROVISION FOR THE POOR AND DESTITUTE, WHO SUFFER GREATLY AT THE PRESENT TIME. MANY THOUSANDS ARE IN WANT OF COMMON NECESSARIES; HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS ARE IN WANT OF COMMON COMFORTS, SIR."; "ARE THERE NO PRISONS?" "PLENTY OF PRISONS..." "AND THE UNION WORKHOUSES." DEMANDED SCROOGE. "ARE THEY STILL IN OPERATION?" "BOTH VERY BUSY, SIR..." "THOSE WHO ARE BADLY OFF MUST GO THERE." "MANY CAN'T GO THERE; AND MANY WOULD RATHER DIE."; "IF THEY WOULD RATHER DIE," SAID SCROOGE, "THEY HAD BETTER DO IT, AND DECREASE THE SURPLUS POPULATION."; SEE, NEO CONSERVATISM AND THE NEW REPUBLICANS AREN'T SO NEW!