I know people would normally post this as anonymous, but why hide from the truth? I'm a loser.

Volunteer for events and charities, get involved in community programs and start meeting people. And for gods sake, stay off the internet sites like plenty of fish unless you just wanna hook up, thats all they're good for in my opinion. If you really wanna pop that cherry, and got a little cash, maybe try a quality escort service to help with the anxieties tied to being your first time. Pay for the hour, you can have a go a couple times. Or you can wait to meet that "special someone" but youre not 17.

Most of the online sites are just full of bots trying to get you to join a webcam site in order to get your credit card info. I only use them to have some fun with the bots.

Oh, and youre not a loser, introverted, shy maybe some social anxieties, but not a loser. Good luck and happy hunting.

Maybe I should have replaced loser with geek or nerd.

Better. There's alot of "geeky" or "nerdy" women out there that dont bar hop, orsolicit themselves on hook up sites. Thats where the volunteering comes in, meeting other people like yourself. I do alot of charity work with my art, get to meet some pretty ok people, who have friends I "should meet".

mm hmm.

lot's of friendly singles wishing they knew how to meet other nice singles, but wanting to avoid the meat market.

Here is what I experience on a regular basis. https://imgflip.com/i/15wlys

I live in a small town 45 mins from our city, my outings to the city are far less than they were 5 yrs ago, so my chances of meeting women are way down, and not much pickens around here. I tried life mates once, I payed $160 a month for 6 months just to talk on the phone to 3 different women. At the time I was 35 and well, I'm not a 16 yr old girl and talkin on the phone just isn't my idea of fun. Every time I wanted to meet for coffee they always had an excuse. Defetes the purpose I believe. So I stopped making payments. On th 10th month lifemates calls me up and asks where my payments are, I asked where my dates are. They guaranteed me at the onset I would meet a girl a month minimum. I said I talked to 3 girls several times without any dates. They are the ones too, who match you up and give your number to these women. No computer shit goin on. We argued for a few weeks, they kept wanting my money for breach of contract, so I pulled out the contract and read them thier guarantee and how they breached it first, they stopped hassling me. I fealt it was a scam geared for the women. Got stalked by a chick from plenty of fish, that sucked. But I did get a number from a girl the other nite so I may text her a morning hello and wish her have a nice day. I hear they occassionally like that, if they know youre thinking of them. Shitty part is, I leave town in a few days for 5 weeks, could get tricky.

I tried something like that once, except I think I paid for everything upfront and never got anything out of it. I did the 6-month guarantee with Match and when I didn't click that I wanted the next 6 months free within a week of qualifying, they charged me another 6-months. When I called them on it, they told me it was my fault for not saying Inwanted the next 6 months for free and that they couldn't give a refund. I had even tried contacting about 80 women or more in that first 6 months and got nothing. The way things work out for me, I might as well live 45 minutes away from the nearest town, wouldn't make my situation any worse.

Where to meet girls depends what you are looking for. Like a 3 month girlfriend to get you over that first hurdle, or a one night stand, or a wife?

Part of me wants anything I can get, but another part of me knows I would feel worse if I only went for the 1 night stand.

Having a couple of past sexual encounters doesn't disqualify you from having a relationship with a nice girl.

When I say I would feel worse, what I mean is that I don't think it is in me to be able to have a one night stand.

I'm horrible...

Finding dating without sex is done on the social sites that hookups are done on like skout and tinder. Make an account, make it clear you are a shyish friendly guy who wants to meet a nice girl for dating, and message any cute girl you see on the service because worst thing she will do is ignore you. (and we do often ignore messages, for a thousand different reasons sometimes having nothing to do with you guys).

Message pretty girls, talk, see how it goes. You'll find 'your groove'.

I have tried Tinder. The only time you can actually message someone is if you two make a match. 95% of all "matches" I have had on there are bots trying to get me to join other sites that require credit card information when they claim to be free. I have not seen a way to be able to message anyone on Tinder before making a match, unless they leave IG or SC information. Same thing happens on Badoo, Match.com. and even eHarmony.com, at least that is all I get to experience anyways.

skout? its completely free to use but ad supported (there is a pay version if you prefer)

are you in a rural area? when is the last time you had a makeover of your wardrobe? Maybe time to ditch t-shirts and upgrade to something with a collar? I don't know...shooting into the dark here.

I am normally always in something with a collar, even at work. I live in the Wichita Kansas area, and there doesn't seem to be many in this area that use online dating sites to begin with.

Kansas, ffs. I could not be much more out of my element if you had said the ukraine.

Are you confident with girls? Do you have any friends that are girls? (not to sleep with, just for advice) If a girl tried subtly giving you signals to flirt with her could you pick them up? Could you 'seal the deal' or would you get stuck trying to "find common ground" like you are trying to build a marriage on the first night?

I'm not an expert but I have played the game.

Confidence- at times but not always. A lot of it depends on the situation and where I am at. Because of the amount of rejection I have faced, it isn't always easy for me to tell someone I like them, unless I can already sense that the chances are low that anything will come from it.

I do have a few friends that are girls, many of which have become friends after they rejected me.

When it comes to them flirting with me, if it actually ever really takes place, it is hard for me to tell if it is because they want me or want something from me (money, help, or just anything other than a relationship).

I haven't really tried to seal the deal because I don't think it is in me to do so. Just part of how I was raised. I do normally try to find out stuff about them to see if it could even be a good match. Of course those that I think it would be are already with someone.

Well rejection shouldn't effect your confidence. Do an honest rundown of yourself and if it comes out positive then you are in a good place. Add any traits you have like sincerity, generosity, humor, respect for women, humility to that analysis as more things a girl would probably find as desirable things in a man, and then start readjusting your perspective of what "where are all the women" really means.

"Why am I not making myself more available to single women"

I didn't realize comment threads come to an end.

So there was a point in which I tried match.com. I even did the 6-month guarantee, contacted maybe 80-100 women on the site in that 6 months and was rejected or ignored by each one. I have been on a total of maybe 10 "dates" (if they could be classified as such) in my entire life, with probably 6 or 7 different women. So if you was to take my track record of rejection, do you honestly not think that much rejection could effect someone's confidence?

I understand that I really do. Kansas City actually ranks as one of the worst places to be single...so anywhere more rural than that can't be much better. If you aren't going to the bars to drink you are passing up a chance to meet available women but it sounds like you would prefer to meet sober women.

Fairs, swap meets, concerts? If you see a couple of girls walking around without a man, there is a good chance one of them is single. That's why you need a wingman... I hope you are taking notes here.

I don't go to bars to drink because I prefer not to drink and drive. I have worked hard to get to where I am at professionally and don't want to risk everything by doing something stupid like that.

wherever women go to watch guys spend money