I TOLD MY 3 YEAR OLD SHE COULDN'T SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT BECAUSE THERE ARE ZOMBIE SPIDERS IN MY ROOM AND THEY WOULD EAT HER BRAIN. I TOLD HER I SPRAYED HER ROOM WITH ZOMBIE SPIDER SPRAY SO SHE'D BE SAFE IN THERE. I REALLY JUST WANTED TO SLEEP ALONE. #MOMCONFESSIONS