Confession Bear

Only one thing to remember. Most people suck and the only people you should care about are those that care about you. The rest can go to hell. Stay away from what gives you anxiety.

i eventually learned to stop trying to make people like me. I thought i was being myself presented in another way but eventually i learned it wasn't my job to make people like me. i learned being kind and loving or respectful wasn't meant to make people like you, its just part of being a good person.

Exactly my sentiment. You be a good person but if they are not, the hell with them. They have no control over you unless you let it happen. There are certain people you can tell are going to be a problem from the start so it's best to just avoid them if possible. Not everyone is going to like you and some will pretend they do until you find out otherwise. Your best bet is to be happy with yourself, keep the people who care close and the anyone that isn't worth your caring self needs to be removed. If they don't like you then it's their problem. Not yours.

My MTI used to tell us "it doesn't get easier, you get better". Same thing for anxiety, you have to learn how to deal with it while still being yourself and not allowing it to make you bitter.

True. It never goes away. You have to set parameters for what is comfortable and what isn't. In the poster's example they were always trying to get people to like them. Well, that isn't going to happen so if someone doesn't like you, it's time to move on and disassociate with that person and stay away from similar people. Some of the replies to my comments below are hilarious because they are using a normal person's context which is completely irrelevant when it comes to social anxiety.

i know, i made this meme. I mean i still have social anxiety, i still spend time over analyzing stuff sometimes. Its not easy but i learned to lessen its effects and control on me.

Good for you. I'm with you. It's not easy and when I find myself in a situation that might trigger anxiety I just remove myself from it. Sometimes you can deal other times you can't. My life is sooooo much better now that I have taken control of what I let in my life. Find the triggers and either limit them or remove them all together. I wish you well.

thats good to hear. keep it up. best of luck to you

That's horrible advice.

No, it's not for someone with anxiety and it's entirely accurate.

Telling someone that nearly everyone can go to hell is the worst outlook on life you could possibly have, and gradually facing your anxiety instead of avoiding it is very important.

Never said avoid. You remove the people that cause stress from your life. Unless you have been there please don't comment and if you have and what you did worked for you, then good for you.

You said stay away from what gives you anxiety which is avoidance. Now, you don't know what causes anxiety for everyone and that "advice" just isn't always practical.

You can go ahead and keep associating with people and things that cause anxiety. Have fun. Someone with Chronic Anxiety will never fully get over the problem so they have to limit the exposure to it's cause. Social anxiety isn't being afraid of a roller coaster or the dark. If you are allergic to peanuts, you don't eat some to help the allergy. Not everything works the way you want.

Oh, so now you say "limit" instead, and liken a peanut allergy to someone with chronic anxiety.. You seem to be a good example of your "people who suck and can go to hell". You're full of shit.

I have the disorder. You don't know your ass from a hole in ground. Limit or avoid, same thing. Sorry you're dense. Must have been your parents fault. Just stick to memes you can understand like Bad Luck Brian stuff.

See another doctor, might need to up the dose.

Funny how the person who made this meme knows exactly what I was saying because they can relate but you , Dr Douche, Grand Poobah of Anxiety Disorder knows everything. Go f**k yourself.

That's the thing though, there's just some people in life you have to be around. Boundary's are rules you make for yourself to prevent you from getting hurt, no walls you throw up to control other people. You should put yourself in a position to not get hurt by people but at the same time, you shouldn't just write people off. Some people are going to treat other's badly no matter what, be an example to them.

maybe you misunderstood me. I'm saying whether people know you have social anxiety or not, they're going to act how they are going to act. As a person with anxiety i do my best not to let them bother me. I mean if someone's messing with you, it doesn't matter whether you have social anxiety or not, you still being respectful and kind will show them you're rising above your level. That doesn't mean be a pushover or don't stand up for yourself. Its something you do for yourself. you do your best to not let it bother you and you'll be better off. Sometimes the social anxiety still wins. Crap it beat me today once already. but i'd rather it only win some of the time, instead of all the time

Glad you found some control. Obviously it depends on what you mean my "messing" with you. For me, if someone is being continually damaging then I write them off until they get over the issue. Comments from strangers normally don't bother me. No where did I say to not be nice to people at the beginning. I'm polite, cordial and mannered but if someone doesn't respect me then they are eliminated. Life is too short to let assholes into your circle. I just laugh and move on. It's been 25 years now and the method works great. If it was a coworker where you have to be around them I just did my job and kept conversation to work related items only. If they said anything derogatory I would walk away or give no acknowledgement. They are looking for a reaction and if none is given then their game becomes boring.

Didn't realize you were the same person who posted the comment. It would help if I read the moniker first. I understand what you are saying but if people can't be good to you than it's best to let go. Any relationship is like that. I don't say never forgive because they may in turn correct the problem and have a good relationship. As for the people who mistreat others, I find it best to just ignore them. They have problems and sometime giving the cold shoulder helps them see the error of their ways.

lol its cool, it happens to me too sometimes when i'm on here. And you definitely have a good point, best to avoid toxic relationships and honestly it does take separation from people for the situation to be resolved.