BOIIIIII 💈 this barber shop is so TUFF 💪 it defies physics 🧠🔮. I walked in asking for a low taper ✂️ and Adrian hit me with “that’ll be more than a quarter 🪙.” I said “HUH 🤨?” and Speed 🏃💨 popped out the back talking about mango 🥭 mustard 🌭 combos and explained the whole friend group like it was lore from a multiverse 🌌📜.

Then Kai Cenat 🧍‍♂️💥 gooned on my ahh 6-7 times 🔁 while yelling “SYBAU 📢” and told me to tralalero tralala 🎶 if I kept PMOing 😤. I said “nah fam, I got X-ray vision 👁️🔍,” and caught Adrian’s grippers 🐾 mid-fade. He said “your cat 🐱 was like oh no no no 🚫” and moonwalked 🕺 to the mustard dispenser 🟡 like it was a TED Talk 🎤.

Crowd started jelking 🕴️ and gooning 🤪 like it was a ritual 🔮🕯️. I paid a quarter 🪙 and left with a haircut 💇‍♂️ that made me ascend 🚀✨.

Rating: 6/7 🧾 bc tspmo and my dawg 🐶 got the effoc fade 🔥.