Onan: Gettin' real sick of this... oh, we're on. Thank you, and welcome back to another night of cringe!

*Audience cheers*

Woo, we got a great show tonight, and there go all the woos.

*Audience laughter*

That's good, though. Big wave on the top, then it just settles down. All that excitement, then the disappointment sets in.

*Audience laughter*

But anyway, as you guys know (maybe) we used to do guest hosts on Mondays. Obviously, we do not do that anymore, now I just host 5 days a week. But, occassionally, when I'm sick or too hungover, we get a guest host on.

*Audience chuckles*

Sometimes it's my boy Ricky over here, sometimes it's a random homeless man from the street, same comedic thing. And basically, one night, I was out sick, so we had to get a guest host, I think this was back in... what was it, late May? Right before Delkuum, I think. I called to just see who came to work and who didn't right? Unfortunately I couldn't hear their response over the sounds of the office party.

*Audience laughter*

See, you laugh at that, but my associate producer, man, he was DANCING. Like this.

*Onan does a tapdance to much applause*

Let's see, what else. We have new reports that June 2023 was the hottest on record since 1850. Yeah. I'm sure we all wish 1850 had invented air conditioners sooner.

*Audience laughter*

Alright, if you guys laugh at that, you'll laugh at anything. Which is great, because we have a lot of fun planned tonight. We have the Governor of Alumphia, Mr. Ben Jerry on tonight!

*Audience cheers*

And we have a musical performance by the hit duo, "Don n' Joe!"

*Audience cheers*

So stick around, we'll be right back.