Allow me to be honest with you
I would gently equip the phone, and while maintaining eye contact with you, I would take a big bite out of it. I would chew, and then swallow. I would then equip a hammer, and smash whatever is left to bits. I would grab the remains, and forcefeed them to you.
I would then grab another phone, I would rewire it to be a ticking time bomb with 30 seconds on the countdown. I would superglue it onto you, and then put you in a glass cage, and lock it. I would then watch as you drastically attempt to remove the phone from your body, every single attempt failing.
Once the phone explodes, I will go into your now shattered glass dome, and bathe in your remains.
