does it count if it was my mom's coworker/old friend who suffered from anxiety, depression, and pstsd (he was in the army) that i had only met twice? from what I could tell, he was smart and kind, but he shot himself in the head in his apartment, just before he was about to move in with his mother in another state to support her? He gave away all his antique furniture so he would have a lighter load when her moved. We still have his lamp. It's easily the most expensive thing in our house, and he gave it to my mom for free just before blowing his brains out. It took a while for the police to determine if it was murder or suicide, but either way, i wish i had known him better. When my mom told me he died, I wasn't really affected at first, since i didn't know him, but then i realized i was literally being indifferent to someone's DEATH. Obviously, I don't want anyone to die, but the next time someone i know dies, i would rather it be somone closer to me than an almost-stranger. I want to feel what it feels like, instead of wondering what's wrong with myself for not caring more
